O LORD, be my helper.
You changed my mourning into dancing;
O LORD, my God, forever will I give you thanks.
R. I will praise you, Lord, for you have rescued me.
I woke up this morning on the sofa pull out. I got to say the nice thing about it was I got to stretch out my legs and not feel so cramped. I got to sleep near my husband, which I haven't in two weeks. But I also got to say the air mattress isn't like tempurpedic mattress on the hospital bed lol. It is weird to say, but yes the hospital bed mattress was much more comfy. However, it is still nice to have the option to sleep on either to bring me some variety and to stretch my legs every now and then. That is one of the most uncomfortable things about bed rest, your legs lose muscle and begin to ache from not moving. However, it really makes me realize the feeling my brother experienced each day. It was the work of my mom and dad's hands that exercised his legs several times a day. Without those exercises his legs and arms wouldn't have the movement they needed and my brother wouldn't be as comfortable as he was. I am just experiencing it through this moment, but he dealt with it without a complaint most of his life. He was a true fighter! I look forward to physical therapy on Monday where they will give me exercises etc to do to help me keep good circulation and keep my legs from cramping. It is things just like moving our arms and legs throughout the day that we take for granted.
One thing I want to randomly add, that I forgot to yesterday, was my mom brought me in two neat rustic frames, one with my son Easton's photo in it and the other with my brother's picture. I have been wanting these pictures in my room as they remind me each time I look at them to stay strong, smile, and cherish the day. So thank you mom for putting them together for me and decorating my room with them. Just looking at them brightens my every moment!
After I ate breakfast this morning, I looked at the Daily Catholic Reading and Daily Bible Verse. I began this post with part of the response from today's readings. The readings from today really hit me, and this response sort of summarized my connection with them. Today's readings are about Jesus healing two different sons and reviving them to life. The readings took me back to that first night here in the er. The moment we found out my water broke and I was having contractions and dilated to 5 cm. The moment that looked as though the delivery was coming soon and Asher would be alive for just a moment and then journey to Heaven with Jesus while in our arms. The moment I was trying to hold strong but asking why? I already had lost a brother in front of my very eyes. I had an early miscarriage the year before. I was trying not to be negative and down, but my heart was hurting. Yet I kept thinking back to the reading that day and how it said nothing is impossuble with God. I messaged my closest family and friends for prayers. I was trying my best to stay hopeful, just like those mothers were in those stories. Before I knew it, I woke up the next morning with contractions less or gone, can't remember, my dilation had went away and closed, and my leaking wasn't like the night before. I remember heading to that ultrasound that morning and still being worried and uncertain. But then our high risk doctor entered at the greatest moment and changed our world and was there to bring us hope from God above. God had worked through Dr. Fitzpatrick and used him to speak His miraculous works to us. Just like Jesus cured and brought the sons back to life, He had used His miraculous works to heal the situation of the night prior and give Asher and my body the strength to save Asher and keep him strong in this fight. As the reading said that hard night..... Nothing is impossible with God. Through faith in Him even at the darkest moments, He hears us and shows us His unending love and mercy. Asher is a miracle through God's hands, and I know God has a very special purpose for Asher here on Earth. As Asher's name means "blessed and happy", he is truly a blessing from God.
Just as the response says at the beginning of this post, God has changed our mourning into dancing! From that dark moment, He brought us light through our hope in Him. Thank You God for the beautiful dance I am living. You have shown us that even during the shakiest roads, through complete trust in You and Your miraculous works, we can come out dancing the most beautiful dance of our lives. I will never take this dance for granted and be forever grateful. I will cherish this dance each day as it helps Asher grow stronger and stronger in this fight. I will stay strong in this dance for Asher in thanksgiving for giving us a miracle! I truly love You above all things! Amen.
Thank all of you for your continued prayers for Asher's fight. Together let us dance together for Asher with God, Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints. God is our hero and miracle, and forever will I be grateful!
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