You are my strength

Last night James and Easton ran home after work to catch up on some laundry and our next door neighbors Abbie and Wayne brought over a delicious pot pie for us to eat for dinner, which was very kind of them. Thank you Abbie and Wayne for your thoughtfulness!

When they arrived back, we enjoyed the potpie and then it was time for my shower. While in the shower I became emotional and when I got out, I broke down in tears because I just felt overwhelmed. Using my left hand to wash, having to stand with chills as James dried my hair, and having a hard time putting my gown on, it just got to me. I just longed for a shower alone and one where I could easily dry off etc. Tears ran down my face and I couldn't control my self, so I just bursted out in a cry. James was right by my side and reminded me I have to be strong and I have more weeks of this because we aren't giving up on this fight. I was so glad he was near me and was there to cheer me on. I wanted to be strong and I wasn't doubting God at all, I just think God knew I needed a moment to cry and let my hard times leave my mind to stay strong. I believe the emotions hit me more last night with the darkness outside and my lack of sleep. It felt good to get it out of me, and I asked God to keep me strong because I am not going to stop fighting for my little miracle!

When I got back to bed, James and Easton took a shower while I prayed the Rosary for peace and comfort. I also messaged my parents and sister to pray that I remain strong.  They reminded me that God and Josh were with me, and that I can do this. Lacy reminded me that mom had difficult times with her brain surgery, but she stayed strong and made it through a very scary time. I can't thank my family enough for being my strength and cheering Asher and me on through it all! I thank God each day for blessing me with the most amazing family!

When James and Easton were done, James said he  forgot  about some mail I received and laid two cards for me on my table that were in our mailbox at home. It was like God let him forget at first, because He knew I was a little down, and I would need to read the cards at that right moment. My Aunt Jeanette and a friend I taught with back at Holy Family a few years Sarah had sent me beautiful cards that meant so much to me! Thank you both for your thoughtfulness as your cards uplifted my spirit at the most perfect time! You are both true blessings!

I was so tired that I ended up falling asleep at 10 prior to my monitoring at 11. I woke up at 11 to have my monitors put on, and then fell right back to sleep. I woke again at 1 so my nurse could take them off. My nurse told me Asher had did very well on the monitor. It made me fill up with joy and thank God. I then slept peacefully for the next 4 hours. I was then awaken at 5 for my next monitoring. Again I fell back to sleep, and then was awoken at 6:15. Asher had dipped down for a moment, so I had to turn sides. Thankfully, he rose right back up and they kept me on until 7:30 to just be sure all was good. At 7:30 Jackie, the mom of our friend's, came in and I was glad to see she would be my nurse today. All was good, so she took the monitors off and I then could eat breakfast. So, I want to thank God for giving me a good night's rest. He knew I needed it and was definitely looking out for me and Asher.

I then opened up my morning devotion book and read my daily Bible verses and daily readings. It really hit me. I knew God was talking to me through the verses this morning. He was reminding me to stay strong.

In my morning devotion book the quote read, "And that about wraps it up, God is strong, and he wants you strong." Ephesians 6:10. The title of the reflection was " He Wants You Strong". The sentence that got me was "May you read books, listen to music, and enjoy the company of those who remind you who you are in Him; it'll strengthen your soul!" God knew that reading my books, listening to Christian music, and having visitors are my stress relievers and are what I love that keep me strong. And what a God moment because he guided my best friend Alison and her daughter Lisa to come visit me today. He knew this was the day I needed their comlany because she always reminds me of how strong I am and together we enjoy talking about God's amazing works. Thank you Alison and Lisa for visiting me this morning and bringing me the beautiful butterfly as butterflies have always been special to us as they are our sign of God's presence around us. God knows me so well, and I can't be more grateful.

  Jeremiah 17:7 NIV
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."

It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.
– Psalm 18:32-33

I then read the daily verses online that I have included above. I again felt God's presence. He was speaking to me, "I am here my child, and I am never leaving you or Asher. I know there are tough days, but never lose hope. It is okay to have moments where you want to cry, but know as you cry I am holding you close. Stay strong and keep positive. This fight is just for a moment and it has a great reward awaiting. You and Asher are fighters and will make it through as I am fighting right beside both of you. Keep Faith my child. You can do this!"

Thank You God for your everlasting comfort and love. Thank you for holding me close throughout this fight. Thank you for giving me hope even in the toughest days. Thank you for being my cheerleader and reminding me that Asher and I will conquer this fight because we have you right by our side. Thank you for speaking to me through the cards last night, the verses this morning, and the visit of a great friend this morning. You amaze me each day with your miraculous works! You are keeping Asher strong. What a miracle he is! I am going to stay strong and never give up. I place my full trust in You. You are full of beautiful grace, and I love You above all things!

I want to add a special thank you to Ali and Mav today for giving Easton another day full of fun and joy! He waited all week to see his buddy Mav, and was so excited to go see him this morning! You are giving him a summer filled with happiness, laughter, and unending fun. I can't thank you enough for doing this for my son! What angels you both are! I had to share the pic Ali sent me this morning which shows how happy Easton was to see his buddy who he missed so much! It melts my heart each time I look at it!  😊

Thank all of you for sticking with Asher and I throughout this fight. You lift our spirits as your love and unending prayers are surrounding us. You are gifts to us as you keep us strong. Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this fight for Asher. I know Asher is smiling inside because he feels all the love and prayers surrounding him! We love all of you so much!