Don't be scared

The Lord says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

The above quote is one that I have always kept close to my heart as it always seems to remind me in anxious times that God is always with me and there is nothing to fear. It also reminds me of my brother Josh as it is a Joshua quote. 

Tonight this quote was one that truly met my situation. James had just left for work and I had just ordered my supper. After I got off the phone, I noticed a leak feeling. So when I checked if I had leaked fluid, fear entered my heart. It wasn't clear fluid, it was blood. My heart began racing and I called the nurse. She came in right away and saw it and said that she would put me on monitor to be sure Asher was okay and then call my doctor. I remember just thinking... please God let his heart be okay. I know he is strong and You are with me. Thankfully Donna found his heart right away. Once Donna left the room, I called James and had a hard time controlling my emotions and began to cry because I was scared and I just wanted him beside me holding my hand. However, God worked through him because he calmed my heart and reminded me to stay calm. I was on the monitors for about an hour and God was truly with Asher as his heart was good and I had no contractions. My bleeding became lighter and basically stopped. 

I ate a little supper, but my stomach felt too twisted to eat too much. I then began on my next Washi tape project to relax. My night nurse came in and asked if I would sleep better if we put the monitor on some more. I agreed and then as she put me on it, I asked what could have caused the bleeding. She said it could just be that I have some irritation from baby growing and low fluid. She said it was a good thing that it had stopped. If it occurred again she would let my doctor know and I would have an ultrasound. 

So far, Asher is doing well on the monitor and haven't had bleeding like before. I know God is with me. Yes, I was scared and still am anxious, but I remind myself that I don't need to be scared or discouraged because God and Josh and all the Angels and Saints are right here with me. They are protecting Asher and I and will be here with us throughout this fight. 

So thank You God for bringing me peace as You are right here with Asher and I. You will never leave us and will let everything be okay. Even in the scariest times, I will always put my trust fully in You because You know the best path for us. Thank You for holding my hand tonight when James couldn't. I wouldn't have the strength I did and do without You. You are Miraculous and I love you above all things!

Thank you for your continued prayers, support, and love. Let us continue to unite together with God, Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints in this fight! How beautiful it is to know all if you are here with us in this fight!