Cast My Anxiety to God

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Today I woke up a little shaky and dizzy. I told my nurse about it and also told her my heart seemed a little faster than normal. So my nurse checked me and thought sheaybr heard some arithmia. So she called my high risk nurse who then came down, but she didn't hear any abnormalities that time. Dr. Stadt then ordered an EKG. I have very mild mitrovalve prolapse, so I used to get EKGs yearly during my high school and college years. But last time it was checked, my doctor said it was barely there so I stopped yearly visits. So then giving me an EKG made me feel less anxious just to be sure. They said it could be a side effect from my steroid shots. I am waiting to hear back and am doing my best to rest in God. I get anxiety easily when it comes to these situations and especially with the excitement over the past few days.

Today I went back to monitoring 4 times a day for 2 hr periods. I was a little nervous to take them off, but put my trust in God. If I would begin feeling constant contractions, they would put me back on. That probably was part of the anxiety I felt today too. It was also good to get back to eating normal today. I just did my best to relax. God is with me always.

James slept in until about 10 and then picked up Easton from Kristina's where he had a fun sleepover last night with his bud Josiah. Easton got to join them at Bible School and he loved it! He learned about Moses and the burning bush and then got to wear a pirate hat as the theme was something to do with Veggie Tales and pirates. When James brought Easton back around lunch, I was again so happy to see my little buddy! He came straight to me and gave Asher a kiss on my belly and me a hug. It made my morning and helped my anxiety diminish for a moment. James then opened a gift from Kristina which meant a lot to us! It was a drinking cup and a mug about prayer and then she gave Easton the cutest Mickey big brother shirt. He absolutely loved it! Thank you Kristina for watching Easton and bringing fun into his day! It means so much to us that you are helping Easton in having a summer filled with so much excitement. Also thank you for your thoughtfulness in the neat gift. Your prayers and kindness keep us strong!  😊

As James relaxed today, Easton and I played cars and watched Mickey Mouse of course. I enjoyed every moment I got to spend with him. He amazes me each day with how much he grows and how much he learns. He is such a big boy! I almost forgot to mention that he even stayed dry for Kristina yesterday evening. He still needs to work on #2, but so proud of his great work! He truly makes his mommy so very proud!

While James gave Easton a shower, my nurse came in and put my monitors on. I have been having some short lived intense contractions so far. They believe it is because of my low fluid and Asher getting bigger that there isn't as much cushion which causes him to push on my cervix causing contractions. We will continue to watch them, but not as strong and as close together as Tuesday's event.

As the nurse was about to leave, Easton ran out of the bathroom with just a pull up on. He had a funny smirk on his face which made us all laugh. The nurse left and James got Easton dressed. Easton was eager to leave like yesterday. Tonight he is having a sleepover at Maverick's. He couldn't stop talking about it and wanted to go that very moment. He picked up his toys, grabbed his gummies and truck, and then headed to the door where daddy's boots were. Of course he had to bring his boots to daddy so he could leave right then. It was too cute! I love seeing him so excited, especially when he jumps around a lot. He is a true trooper who is really enjoying his time with his buddies and mamaws and papaws, along with time spent here with mommy and daddy. He came over to give Asher a good bye kiss on my tummy and give me a hug. He told me bye and that he will miss me. It melted heart as always!

Thank you Ali for again watching him and letting him have a sleepover with Maverick. He enjoys playing with his bud and has so much fun when with all of you! You truly make him smile big! We can't thank you enough for all you do for us. It means so much that you are blessing our son with so much fun! 😊

Tonight my great friend from back in the good ol' school days is coming to visit with her son. I haven't seen Kristyn for a long time, so I look forward to her visiting. I also haven't seen her little Joel yet, so I can't wait to meet him! With the anxiety I am feeling today, it will be nice to have her here to visit. Kristyn, thank you for taking time to stop in and visit. It means so much to me and can't wait to catch up! 😊

Dear God, Thank You for never leaving Asher and me. The past few days have caused me some anxiety, but with You holding my hand I know I can overcome it as I cast all my anxiety on You. You will  protect Asher and me. Thank You for being my rock. You give Asher and me the strength we need to carry on in this fight each day. Some days are hard to lay in this bed, but it is all worth it and You will lead us to Your beautiful plan in Your amazing timing. You are a miraculous God who has blessed us with a miracle. I trust fully in You. Thank You for calming my heart, and I love You above all things! Amen.

It means so much that I have all of you, our prayer warriors, sticking with us in this fight. Some days are tougher than others, but I feel your prayers surrounding me, and they are keeping me strong. Asher is fighting strong too, and I know the prayers are surrounding him too. Know how much all of you mean to us! Let's hold hands with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight! God is beautiful!! We wouldn't be where we are without Him!

God Stands By Me

The Lord stood by me and gave me strength.

After a rough day yesterday with consistent contractions, I did my best to get some rest over night. I had consistent contractions over night, but weren't as strong. They kept the monitors on me all night and gave bags of IV fluid to help possibly slow or stop the contractions.

I woke up this morning and still had low muscle pain, but didn't feel as many contractions. The ones I had were not near as strong. God was truly watching over me and calmed my storm. Your prayers surrounded me and wiped away my anxiety. Sometimes we face those days that seem to say... be ready, and hold on. That is what I did. I couldn't lose faith and fall out of my strong boat. God was with me and I trusted Him wherever he would lead Asher and me. And here He blessed me and Asher again with another day to fight with less contractions. I couldn't be more grateful and all my praise is lifted up to Him for His unending grace.

After only eating oatmeal, chicken noodle soup, and orange jello yesterday, I got to enjoy applesauce and oatmeal this morning. My new day nurse entered and told me that my high risk doctor would be seeing me and wanted to exam me further. He wanted to check my cervix and see if my discharge had any sign of bacteria that could cause an infection. She also mentioned how my night nurse was concerned that my discharge may have a different odor which could be a sign of infection....which ends up being a funny story that James won't hear the end of from the nurses and doctors lol.

It started last night when I noticed my night nurse taking out my bathroom trash, which wasn't that full. Then she brought in a orange scented spray and sprayed a whole bunch in the bathroom. I just was like okay lol. She then asked me if I noticed any funky smell with my fluid. I said no, but it was funny because when I exited the bathroom door, I did notice a fishy smell. She said that she smelled it to, so that is why she did all she did and would tell the doctor in the morning to check. I then went to bed, and when I woke up, I told James about it. He then said, "I bet you are smelling the opened tuna fish can in the trash from when I made my supper." It made perfect sense and made me laugh. So I told my day nurse and she then informed my doctor.
When I entered another room for my exam, my doctor laughed and said tuna huh? So now they keep picking on James for it!

During my exam, my doctor first checked my cervix. It was a beautiful blessing that it was still closed. He then checked for any bacteria in my discharge. God had sent me another blessing as my doctor said it looked clear so said should be no bacteria. So, he told me with fewer contractions I could get off IV fluids during the day, eat as I was, and go back to normal monitoring. If they would peak up again, I would have to fall back to same routine as yesterday.

When I left the exam room, I enjoyed my little trip back to my room and sent more praise to God for keeping Asher and me strong and safe. He is so amazing! I then got back in the monitor, even though I didn't have to right then. With still having occasional contractions, I just felt more comfortable staying on as long as they are present. I then ordered lunch which I looked forward to as I haven't had a full meal in over a day. It was again one of those moments that made me grateful for the gift of food, which many in our world only dream of having. How truly fortunate we are, and again how much it makes me want to donate a huge supply of food to the food bank.

After eating lunch, my mother and father in-law visited as they were returning from their vacation. Then a few moments later, my mom and Easton arrived. I enjoyed spending time with them as it relaxed my mind. Easton was bashful at first, but then returned to his funny self in minutes. I loved the hug and kiss he gave Asher and me. It made my day!

A little while later, James arrived back from doing laundry and mowing back at home. Easton was excited to see him and show him his toys. He then had Easton bring me a package that mom and I have been waiting for. It was Easton's ring bearer outfit, and we were glad to see it made it and looked adorable! He will be wearing a grey newsboy hat, white dress shirt, grey suspenders, mint blue bow tie, grey shorts, and tan Sperry shoes. I look forward to seeing him in it!

 James then gave me a card that was in our mail. It made me smile as I love e getting mail and meant so much to me. The card was filled with beautiful words. It was from Ashley and Jason and their daughter Ali. Inside they wrote a kind note to say they keep us in their thoughts and prayers and told me to stay strong. It really was special to me. It's those things that truly lift my spirit. Thank You Jason, Ashley, and Ali for the inspirational card! Your thoughtfulness and prayers mean so much and keep us strong! 😊

After my mother and father in-law headed home, my mom was very kind and helped me shave and pluck my eyebrows, something I haven't been able to do for a while. With the IV in me 24/7, it is very hard to do those everyday things as I only have one hand. So, I thank my mom for all her help and for always going out of her way to help me. I could never ask for a more wonderful mom who always makes me feel beautiful no matter what!


It was then time for my mom to leave, so she hugged me and then Easton ran to her and hugged her and said his cute little goodbye. He will get to see my parents and sister this weekend when they visit, as my sister is coming home for her birthday and last minute wedding items.

James then helped me with my shower as Easton played with my brother's old Hotwheel cars he loves. I am always grateful for all James does for me. Without him, I wouldnt be the strong woman I am and would have a more difficult time with my everyday needs. James I love and appreciate you so much!!

As I got dressed and untaped my IV wrap, there was a knock on the door. I opened it as I was near the door, and there was a purple gift bag delivered. It brought sunshine in my day, and I was curious who it could be from. Easton was eager to rip all the tissue paper out of the bag, as I opened the card. It was a neat card filled with inspiration to keep strong and know God is with me. It was from a student of mine Dylan and his family. Their kindness and thoughtfulness melted my heart. Inside was two things that excited Easton very much! First he pulled out a car. And right away ran to his daddy yelling "It's Blaze Daddy, Blaze!" Easton for one loves cars and also loves watching Blaze! His face had the biggest smile as he jumped up and down. He then pulled out a bubble gun, which he wanted to use at the very moment! We told him that he and daddy can use it this weekend, and it made him again smile big as he couldn't wait! Then I pulled out a box and opened it to find a beautiful and colorful cross! I absolutely loved it! It again reminded me to keep God at the center and all will be just fine. Thank you so much Kathy, Dylan, and family for the generous gift! Know you truly brightened my day and let me enjoy Easton's cute smile and excitement. Know you truly made his day so special! We appreciate all your prayers too! We feel them surround us each day. 😊

Another knock came to the door, and James said, "Your favorite thing!" So I knew immediately that it was time for my 2nd steroid shot. It relieved me though to see Donna with it. She wasn't my nurse today, but having her do the shot calmed me as she knew how to do it in a way without it hurting. After she did it, it was a little sore, but the pain only lasted for a couple minutes. I would take any pain for my little miracle, as he is worth everything to fight for! After all, God gave him to us through His miraculous works!

It was then time for James and Easton to head out as James had to head to work and take Easton to his buddy Josiah's house. He and Josiah would have fun and have a sleepover. Easton again was jumping up and down and couldn't wait to go. He kept telling daddy that he was ready to go and wanted daddy to put his boots on so they could go. It was too cute! Before he left, he kissed my belly to kiss Asher and said bye to him and kissed my hand. It was too sweet. He then told me goodbye and see you tomorrow mommy. I am so blessed to have my little Easton. He makes my everyday so very special! Thank you Kristina for taking care of Easton and letting him have a sleepover which he is so excited for! Going out of your way for us and giving Easton a fun evening means so much to us!😊

As I sit here on monitors with random contractions, I look forward to eating supper and relaxing this evening. I look forward to James returning from work as with him here I always feel more at peace. But no matter what I am never alone. God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints are right here with Asher and me. They give us peace, comfort, and never stop holding our hands!

Dear Loving God, You are full of beautiful grace and mercy. You are a miraculous God who has brought us a little miracle and fighter. We can't be more blessed and this fight means the world to us. We wouldn't change a thing. Asher was given to us for a very special reason, and we love him so much! Thank You for never leaving our sides, and keeping us strong through all the bumpy roads. Asher is strong because of Your miraculous works. Our complete trust is in You, as You guide us to Your most beautiful plan! We love You above all things!

Again, we can't say enough how much  your unending thoughts, kindness, prayers, and faith in this this fight mean. You are right with us never giving up and trusting God. That is so beautiful and means more than you know! Let us stay united with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight! Nothing is impossible with God! We send all our praise up to Him for our little miracle!

Contractions and Ultrasound

Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:26

Last night my lower stomach hurt throughout the night. Asher had a few dips in the early morning session, but was better during the 5 am session. It didn't hit me until I woke up, that those low pains may be contractions. I asked my night nurse and she said she did see 2 through the morning. However, I felt the pain all night and the contraction belt was on my upper stomach, so I wondered if it caught them all.

After I ate a light breakfast, my high risk nurse came in. I told her about the pain, and as I had one hit and radiated around my back. She felt my stomach and it was tight. So she told my day nurse to put the contraction belt and heart belt on me.

Sure enough I was having contractions. To try to slow them down and help, my day nurse gave me IV fluid. The contractions continued but we're far apart most of the time, so not bad. Also, it was a good sign that Asher's heart was staying strong because contractions can cause dips.

A knock came to the door, and it was time for my Tuesday ultrasound. Again Asher moved good and had a strong heart beat. The cord is still around his neck as he is in the breech position. They measured my fluid at 2 cm, which was same as last Friday. As I laid there, I felt a couple strong contractions.

When I came back to the room, I got my monitors back on and was contracting throughout the afternoon. They are keeping them on 24/7 now to keep a close eye on me. I skipped lunch and drank little as I was being filled with IV fluids. I didn't want a tummy of food in case I had to have csection today.

The afternoon continued, and then I had to wake up James from his nap, as he was trying to get rest as he is on nights. I needed to use the restroom and was plugged in, so I needed him. He guided me to the restroom. I had an urge to pee bad, but when I tried a sharp pain like a knife came across my low side. Anxiety filled my heart as I almost felt like Asher was trying to push out. Tears and worry hit me, as James called my nurse. She had me not push anymore, and led me to my bed to get checked. She didn't feel any part of the baby, so she assumed it had to do with how Asher was laying inside me. So I tried again. It took a good 5 minutes until I could finally go.

I then laid back in bed as the contractions continued. My nurse then called my high risk nurse about it. She informed my nurse to give me another steroid shot to help Asher and possibly help the contractions. As she gave me the shot on my hip area, a numbness ran down my left leg. But it soon faded, and I was glad Asher received the steroid again. My nurse told me that my high risk doctor for the week would be coming by to talk with me.

As I waited, my phone rang and it was the pediatric clinic calling to let me know they would accept both Asher and Easton as patients. Currently Easton goes to another pediatrician, but I wanted to change due to having Asher here and  Dr. Pyle recommended us to the clinic. I was so happy they accepted them as at first they acted like they were full, but Dr. Pyle helped us out, which was no surprise, as that is the man he is!

A knock came to the door and my doctor entered along with my high risk nurse. He explained to me that most of the time having contractions after ruptured membranes several weeks ago may mean an infection is starting to brew. However, I have no other symptoms besides contractions. So they aren't going to deliver yet as maybe the contractions will end and/or I don't have symptoms of infection currently. So they will keep a close eye on me, and if an infection begins, we would go ahead with delivery to protect Asher and me.

My nurse told me I could eat light, but have to avoid heavy meals of course. I have IV fluids running, so I can just sip on water. Asher's heart is still going strong, which again is a great sign. James had to leave for work, so it was hard on me at first. I couldn't control my tears and told him I didn't want to be alone. He reminded me to be strong and know he is only a few minutes away. If things would get worse, he would be right back here with me. It was just hard because he being here keeps me strong and he helps me in so many ways. Being plugged into everything makes it hard to get in and out of bed. So he was a big help with me there. However, I reminded myself I got to be strong and I really am not alone. Asher is with me, and God and Josh and all the Angels and Saints are here with me.

When I feel the contraction pains or feel the anxiety try to enter, I tell myself trust in God and relax in Him. I can't let worry get me. Today's reading is perfect and I know God was talking to me through it. It was the story about them being scared in the boat as a storm came and Jesus was sleeping through it. They woke him up in fear, and Jesus reminded them to keep faith as He calmed the storm. Just as today feels like I am riding in a wind blown boat in a storm, I choose to keep faith and trust in Him. He will calm my storm and lead me to His beautiful plan for Asher and I. I know I will have days like this, but I can't let these moments make me fall out of my strong boat. I have to lift all my worries to God and trust. I have nothing to fear because He is with me every step of the way!

Dear God, Thank You for never leaving me, even when I feel my strong boat is shaken. You calm me and remind me I have nothing to fear because You are here holding my and Asher's hands. I pray for a calm night for Asher and I. I trust in Your beautiful plan and know You will get us through this fight in the most amazing way. You are truly miraculous. Thank You for providing Asher and I the needed strength to never lose hope. We love You above all things! Amen.

I am so grateful to have all of you fighting with Asher and me. You remind me to never be afraid as God is right here beside me. Let us unite together in prayer with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this beautiful fight and for God to lead us to His amazing plan. He is miraculous as He has sent us a miracle who is worth everything to fight for! My little miracle keeps me strong! We love all of you and appreciate your prayers so much!

A Relaxing Day

Psalm 16:8
I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Besides a couple small dips in Asher's heart rate, I woke up to another morning of strong monitoring sessions. While I ate breakfast, my dad sent me a message to let me know he had went to a special Mass that included prayer intentions for Asher, James, Easton, and me and for all those with pregnancy concerns. It made me smile that he went without me asking. I just informed him last night that my good friend Jane had it planned for this morning. Knowing my dad was present made it even more special.

When Jane visited a while back she told us about how she had a Mass planned for us. I am so glad she sent me a reminder last night as it again meant so much and so I could let my parents know too. Jane is just one of those special friends who devotes her life to God, and goes out of her way to always pray for me and my family. Her setting up a special Mass for us is such a beautiful blessing. I know God was holding Asher extra close with His miraculous hands during that special Mass. Thank you Jane for being the amazing friend you are. Your endless prayers and inspiration through this journey have really brightened our days and continue to help us to stay strong and always stay close to God. 😊

It was a pretty calm morning as Asher again stayed strong during his 11:00 session. Then James and I began to watch a movie on TV. It felt good to have a day just to relax and enjoy each other's company. James will be working nights again this week, so I get to spend most of the day with him, which I cherish. 

Later this afternoon, there was a knock on our door and a lady came in with a card. It brightens my day when I get random mail. It was from Barbara and Dave, who are good family friends. Barbara is my Aunt Diane's sister. I loved the quote on the  front of the card that said: "Sometimes what looks like falling apart is actually everything falling into place." The inside then said "Keep hoping. Keep believing. And know that things are going to turn out fine." It again was remindinge that God always has a beautiful plan for us. That first night seemed that things were falling apart, but yet we had prayers surrounding us and kept faith in the impossible as we reminded ourselves that nothing is impossible with God. Here we are at 27 weeks still holding strong and made it to the 90% survival rate milestone. God always knows the best plan for us and how miraculous He is! Even during the times you feel your world is falling apart, He is there and He brings light into even the darkest nights. He is constantly working in our lives. Thank you Barbara and Dave for the beautiful card filled with inspirational words. Your thoughtfulness and kindness mean so much to us! 

This evening I look forward to making more bracelets for my students this school year and just relaxing. I miss my little buddy, but I know he is having fun. When I called my mom earlier he said hi to me on the phone. It always cracks me up because when I ask him questions over the phone, he whispers the answer softly and mom says he has a big smile on his face. He melts my heart each day!

Dear God, Thank You for continuing to hold Asher's hand and keeping him strong. Thanks for amazing friends who go out of their way to keep us strong throughout this miraculous fight. Thank You for being our guiding hand as You lead us to Your beautiful plan. You are an amazing and merciful God who we trust in and love above all things! Amen.

To all of you.. Your prayers and thoughtfulness fill our heart and keep us strong in this fight for our little miracle. We are so blessed to have you our prayer warriors journey with us in this fight. Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this amazing fight for Asher. It is because of God and all of your unending prayers that Asher continues to fight strong! How blessed our little trooper is! 

A Special Sunday

"Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us." Psalm 90:17 (Quote on gift bag my Aunt and Uncle gave me.)

I woke up to another blessed morning with Asher's heart rate strong throughout the monitoring sessions and knowing James and Easton were here with Asher and me. Easton slept in as the poor guy never would take a nap yesterday. Eventually, he woke up and he and daddy went to the cafeteria to get breakfast.

After breakfast, James told Easton that he saw a long black snake by his car. It excited Easton and he said, "Daddy, I wanna see it. I get him!" James told him that the snake was probably gone and that it would bite if he got too close. Easton still insisted on searching for it. So James filled up Easton's water gun to have a water war outside while they would search for the snake. A while later, Easton came in with his Mickey Mouse sunglasses on his face and said , "Mommy, snake gone. It went to its house," as he shrugged his shoulders and stretched his little arms out like he was saying he wasn't sure what happened..it was adorable. Easton then had to come over to me and say he was going to spray Baby Asher. So he took his water gun and water mist landed near my belly as Easton giggled. I just love seeing Easton so happy and full of excitement. It is truly a God Moment that he talks about Baby Asher each day! He can't wait to meet his little miracle brother!

As we were lazing around, there was a knock on the door. In came in Janet, the lady we just met Friday who altered my dress. We were surprised and happy to see her. We didn't expect for her to get it altered and brought back this soon, but there she was. She just didn't have the beautiful mint blue dress, but in her other hand was a mason jar filled with gorgeous fresh flowers! It melted my heart that she went out of her way to get my dress done this quick, bring me flowers, and then when we asked how much we owed, she said nothing. Nothing? It really hit me how God guided us to this amazing woman who we just met Friday and were led to by another seamstress who was too busy. She told us that she wanted to devote yesterday to get it done for me, and just wanted to do it as a gift. It meant so much to us! We will be sure sending her a card thanking her for her kindness!

I then sat in the comfy recliner while James and Easton cuddled on the couch and watched cartoons. I ended up taking a little nap until I heard my nurse come in. It was time for midday monitoring. So, I laid back in bed and again listened to the peaceful sound of Asher's strong heart.

A knock came to the door and my high risk doctor for the week entered the room. He again checked how I was doing and felt my belly for any tenderness. He also told us that Asher's heart rate was doing amazing, which made us smile and thank God for keeping our little miracle strong.

After he left, my parents arrived. I was glad to see them as I always enjoy their company. They even brought me Cracker Barrel to go for lunch, so I looked forward to eating once I was off the monitors. The moment Easton saw Mamaw and Papaw, he ran to them full of joy and excitement. He even had to get his spray gun to spray them with water. It was too cute. He also had to make sure and ask if he would get to go to their house, as I have been telling him he would. Easton loves his Mamaws and Papaws, and I know they are so excited to see him too! What wonderful Mamaws and Papaws they are!

As I was about to get off my monitor, my Aunt Diane and Uncle Larry came in. They had driven from Bloomington to come see Me, James, and Easton. It was so nice and thoughtful of them to take a Sunday afternoon to come see us. When they entered, they gave us hugs and told us how glad they were to see us, and what a miracle it was that we were at 27 weeks. After I got my monitors off and ate my meal, they handed me a gift. Inside was a beautiful cross with my favorite Bible Verse on it... Joshua 1:9. It is the verse that always reminds me to stay strong and never give up. God is with me through it all wherever I am. I just felt God and Josh beside me when I held the cross saying, " Remember, I am with you and will never leave you. Continue to stay strong as you and Asher are, and You will conquer this mountain as I will guide you all the way." Spending time with my Aunt and Uncle was very special. They have strong faith and a great positive outlook in life. They remind me that God and Josh are with me, and that Asher and I are strong because we have trust in God. They are prayer warriors with us in this fight, which means the world to us! Thank you Aunt Diane and Uncle Larry for taking time out of your Sunday to visit and bringing me a beautiful cross. Your visit brought sunshine to our day! We love you so much!

As my family was visiting, I got a call on my room phone. I knew this was a special call as it was 2:00, so room service wouldn't be calling. I answered it and heard, "Jenna B.!" Right away a smile entered my face and I knew who it was! My childhood pediatrician, my lifesaver, aka Dr. Ruff was on the phone! He called to see how Asher and I were doing, and was so glad to hear that we made it to the 27 week milestone. We then talked about my sister's wedding and how I would be Skyping in etc. Just as I said yesterday, it is doctors like him and Dr. Hopf who I don't just consider a doctor, but instead amazing heroes who go out of their way to see how a past or present patient is doing. It isn't just a short call on a weekday, but instead a meaningful call even on a weekend! I can't thank God enough for bringing Dr. Ruff into my life. His phone call truly made my day extra special, and I hope he knows that. Thank you, Dr. Ruff for taking time out of your Sunday to call me and check in  on Asher and I! It means the world, and I know it makes Asher smile just as big!

A moment later, there was another knock on the door. Father Ed entered. It makes my every Sunday that he comes to pray with us and give us Communion. He hasn't missed a Sunday yet, and that means so much! Receiving Jesus is important to us, so because of his kindness and thoughtfulness, we get to receive Jesus each Sunday. When I receive Jesus it brings me peace and reminds me that God is here with us in this miraculous fight. When he entered, he got to meet my parents along with my Aunt and Uncle. We all talked for a while as Easton was his silly self and running around in circles in the room lol. He even gave Father Ed a chocolate raisin, which was so cute. After Father Ed prayed with us and gave James and me Communion, he shook all of our hands and said goodbye. The best part was when Easton noticed all of us shaking his hand, he too decided to shake Father Ed's hand and even give him a high five. Thank you Father Ed for coming out each Sunday to let us receive Jesus and to pray together. You mean so much to us, and your prayers are keeping Asher and us strong!

After Father Ed left, my Aunt and Uncle headed out. I thanked them for coming as I always enjoy company as it lifts my spirit evenmore.  Then my parents got ready to go and made sure Easton was packed and ready too. Easton gave daddy and me a hug, and of course kissed his little brother Asher on my belly. It was hard seeing him go, as time with Easton I cherish so much and it always seemed to fly by, but I was again glad to see Easton so happy to get to spend time with his Mamaw and Papaw. God has truly blessed him with a fun and adventurous summer filled with people he loves, and I can't be more grateful because I want Easton to be happy! My parents gave me hugs and said goodbye as Easton again said bye too, and headed back home. We will get to see Easton again on Wednesday when my mom brings him back down. We will look forward to that as we love and miss him so much!

Dear God, Thank You for a beautiful Sunday filled with God Moments and family time. Thank You for a fun week with Easton, and for giving Easton a fun summer surrounded by his Mamaws and Papaws and his buds. Thank You for guiding us to people who go out of their way to just show how much they care. Thank You for being with us through it all, and never leaving our sides or letting us fall. Thank You for the strength You give us and Asher and Your guiding hand. It is because of Your beautiful grace that Asher has made it this far and continues to fight strong. You have given us a miracle that is a true blessing. We put our full trust in You as You guide us to Your perfect path. We love You above all things! Amen.

Wow! What amazing prayer warriors you are! We feel the power of your prayers surrounding us each day, and so does little Asher. As you continue to fight for Asher, his strength continues to grow. Again, we wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for God's miraculous works and your unending prayers. Thank you for staying with us in this journey! It means more than you could ever know! Let's continue to join hands with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight for little Asher whose strength is a true blessing from God! We love all of you so much!

Happy 27 Weeks!

Happy 27 weeks to our little precious miracle and strong little warrior, Asher! You amaze us each day with your strength! We love you so much and can't be more blessed as we know God is right with you holding your little sweet hand! We are fighting for you as you are our little miracle from God who we love so much!

Yesterday evening after James parents and brother left, I met my new nurse for the night. She was very nice and helpful. But she was extra special because she and I shared something in common. Her water broke at 27 weeks and she had her son at 28 weeks. He is doing great and one would never know he was a premie. That was a special God Moment as it was God reminding me that I am not alone... a lot more people than I realize have traveled a similar bumpy road, but God blessed them with a beautiful miracle.

After she left the room, Easton was so excited to have daddy make the bed and then cuddle beside daddy as he watched a Mickey Mouse cartoon. As they fell asleep, so did I. My nurse came in at 11, so I woke up and got my monitors on and IV fluid going. I fell back asleep and woke up at 1 to get monitors off and learn that God had blessed Asher with a strong heart rate during the 2 hrs. I then fell back to sleep until 5 to get my monitors placed back on. Again I was woken up at 7, as is routine, and God again blessed Asher with a strong 2 hrs. I was so grateful! It was great to wake up to the good news, plus see my Easton awake and energized.

After breakfast, we had a knock on the door, and in came Dr. Pyle, the nicu doctor. I was again so glad to see him as he always brings sunshine with him wherever he goes. James was also grareful to see him as he has always been gone at work when Dr. Pyle visits, so he hasn't seen him since that first visit when our journey and fight began.

He came in, sat on the edge of my bed, and asked how we were doing.  I just love how he is truly a great guy, with amazing bedside manner, always displays a positive attitude, and brings humor into the room
 He tried to talk to Easton a few times and acted like he was going to take his trucks and cars, but Easton decided to play his bashful side with him today lol. He told us and Asher, "Happy 27 weeks!" It just made us grin with happiness and gratefulness from ear to ear. He said Asher's lungs are now strong and how he has met the 90% survival milestone. It just made me thank God at that very moment, because inside me was a true miracle created by God's miraculous hands! He had grown from 2% survival to 90% in 5 weeks! That is AMAZING, and I lift all praise up to God! With our faith in Him and all our prayer warriors, God sent us this incredible miracle! He is so beautuful!

Dr. Pyle then told us that Dr. Ruff had called him this week to check on Jenna B. It made me smile, as Dr. Ruff never stops being a lifesaver and hero to me. He is caring and is a fighter for Asher and I. Dr. Pyle said that Dr. Ruff calls him several times to check on me. That just really hit my heart. Dr. Ruff, you are an amazing doctor and I couldn't be more blessed to have you in my life!

As Dr. Pyle left, he told us that he hopes to see us next Saturday in the same place to hit and celebrate the 28 milestone. We thanked him, and said we hoped too, but we will let it to God as He has the perfect plan. Then James and Easton left to go home so James could catch up on laundry and let Easton play at home. I was grateful of that as I want Easton to stay connected to his home and enjoy his toys there.

After they left, my phone rang. My eyes lit up as it was Dr. Hopf, my obgyn from home. He told me that he has been getting updates weekly on me, which made me feel good. But today he just wanted to call me to see how I was doing and let me know he and his team have been praying for me. He was so glad that Asher made it to the 27 week milestone today and to hear I was hanging in there being strong for Asher. I felt so blessed that he took time out of his Saturday to check on Asher and me. He didn't have to, but again that is the wonderful doctor he is! I told him how grateful I was that he called, and that I would most definitely let him know when God wills Asher to enter the world. Just knowing he and his team are keeping us in thoughts and prayers brought even more sunshine into my day. God really knows how to work through others to lift our spirits and let us know that we aren't in this fight alone.


After his call, I had my monitors taken off and ate lunch. I have been constipated, sorry if tmi, but due to taking prenatal vitamin with high iron plus having an iron supplement due to low iron in my blood, it has really caused me to get uncomfortable. They have been giving me stool softeners twice a day, plus miralax each morning, but I still have been having trouble. So, Jackie came in today and told me she had a solution. She said she was going to make me a special cocktail. I just kinda looked at her confused, until she told me the name of the cocktail..... which made me and her crack up in laughter. Here it goes..... it is called 'The Poop Cocktail". I either just made you laugh or leave this post with a sour stomach lol. I promise you it isn't gross.... it is just a mix of grape juice, apple juice, and prune juice warmed up with a touch of Sierra Mist. You are probably like... and you actually drank it? Jackie promised it would taste like warm butterscotch. Now butterscotch isn't my fave, but I could handle it, and it would be worth the try to see if it would indeed relieve my constipation. So after lunch, Jackie made the cocktail speciality and I then drank it. It indeed tasted just like warm butterscotch and I managed to drink it all. I will wait and see if it truly will help!

The new high risk doctor then entered my room. He would be here until Friday to get to know us and take over for Dr. Contrarez, since she had her baby a little earlier than planned. Due to her delivering a couple weeks early, Dr. Fitzpatrick will be returning this Friday, which is a little earlier than planned. The high risk doctor was very nice. He is from the Texas area. He came in and pulled the recliner near my bed and introduced himself. We then talked about Asher's progress and he checked my belly for any tenderness. I was glad to meet him and grateful for his kindness and taking his time to go over any questions I had.

Once he left, I called James to see how Easton was doing. I was glad to hear he was having fun and to his hear his laughter in the background. While on the phone, James and Easton broke into laughter several times. I asked what was so funny. James said it started with Easton wanting to play bubbles and realizing we were out. So James took Easton over to the Dollar Store to get some. While on their way to the cash register, James noticed some squirt guns. Easton fell in love with them, so James bought them. So as I was talking on the phone with him, him and Easton were having water gun fights. It made me smile. I was so glad to hear both him and Easton so happy and having daddy and son fun time. James told me that was the best $3 he ever spent. The only problem was Easton didn't want to go back inside and eat his lunch. He was having too much fun! Thank You God for a beautiful day outside to allow Easton and his daddy time together to laugh and play at home.

Dear God, Thank You for blessing Asher and us with the celebration of his 27 week milestone! None of this would be possible without You. You are the reason we have kept strong and made it to this amazing point! Thank You for bringing doctors into my life. Doctors who aren't just there to do their job, but doctors who go out of their way to reach out to their present or past patients to show they care and are in the fight too. Thank You for this beautiful day outside so Easton and James could play. Thank You for time with Easton this weekend to make me laugh and smile. You are a Merciful God who is always by our side. You are a miraculous God who continues to keep us strong and protect us throughout this fight. Our full trust is in You, and we love You above all things. Amen.

Thanks to all of you for your unending prayers. It is through your prayers and trust in God that Asher and us are cebrating 27 weeks! We can't be more grateful! Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this amazing and miraculous fight! Asher is a true fighter and a miracle from God! We love all of you!

Ultrasound Update

This morning I woke up to my nurse coming at 7 to take my monitors off. Just as she was about to, Asher had a 2 minute dip. Usually, I stand strong and not let fear get me, but I felt scared. I turned side to side, and what was 2 minutes seemed forever. Finally, being the little warrior he is and with God's beautiful grace, his heart rate rose back up and he stayed strong. I just remember in those 2 minutes telling God it is in Your will. If Asher needs to come now, let it be. I repeated it in my mind several times, and then God answered. Seeing that his heart rate went back up was like God telling me, "My child, not yet. He still needs to be in you and keep strong. I am holding  his hand and he will be just fine."

My anxiety calmed as Asher was fine and I knew God was with us as He always is. He does miraculous works! I then read my Bible verses and daily reading. The daily reading hit me, as it made me remember the quote last night as I read my Living Faith devotion book that was about today's reading. In my Living Faith book the devotion was titled "A Guiding Hand". It caught my eye right away because that was so true, God is a guiding hand throughout our lives. But then it really got me when I read the verse which is part of today's daily reading. "The Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb he gave me my name." It again made me think of Asher, God creating Asher was a miracle and God blessing Asher in defeating the odds is another miracle. Then he guided us to the perfect name before we were even led on this journey as his name means happy, blessed, fortunate. He knew Asher would be blessed, fortunate, and happy because he would be a little fighter who God blessed to defeat the odds for a reason. God is keeping him happy because he is protecting him and because his mommy, daddy, and all his prayer warriors have faith in Him. Reading those words and the heading was a God moment. God was reminding me what a miraculous gift Asher truly is and He is guiding him and us through this fight each and every moment.

That moment reminded me to not be scared when Asher's heart rate drops. I must keep strong because God has a special day and time for Asher to enter this world. So no matter when that moment comes, I need to stay calm and trust because through God's guiding hand we will overcome this mountain!

I then opened my devotional coloring book and the quote was perfect. God was again speaking to me. "Choose faith over worry." God was telling me, " My child, you have nothing to worry. Your faith in Me is keeping you and Asher strong." While I colored it, my high risk nurse came in and mentioned how she heard about the drop this morning. I then told her that it did scare me at first because it is just the mommy in me. But I then showed her the quote in front of me. I told her God calmed me as I have faith and so I don't need to worry. She agreed. She then told me to look how far I came, and how she at first wasn't sure how it would all play out. I then told her I just am so blessed because I have God keeping me strong and prayer warriors surrounding us in prayer. I said God has a special plan for this little miracle and he heard the prayers. It is because of Him that Asher is almost 27 weeks! She agreed and then told me that I would have a BFI at my ultrasound today that would make me feel even better. A BFI is when the baby is scored according to movements and fluid levels. The goal is to score a 10. So after she left the room, I eagerly waited for my ultrasound.

9:00 hit, and I awaited for a Skype call. My parents and sister were at the reception hall with the technology person to test out Skype with me. A little past 9, I received the call. Sure enough it worked beautifully! It was clear and we could hear each other. I will just have to remember to talk slow during my speech as it can echo some. It turns out that the hall has a big screen and then small TVs surrounding so everyone can see. My dad joked and said I was famous lol. I just said that it will be better once I have my hair and makeup done lol. Again, I am so grateful for the creation of Skype to allow me to be part of my sister's special day! I t is just proof that God let's everything fall into place, so there is no need to worry.

James then left to get Easton from Ali's house and go home to pick up my bridesmaid dress, as I would get it ready to be altered after lunch. While they were gone, I read my book as I listened to the calming sound of Asher's strong heart beat. Before I knew it, there was a knock on the door and ultrasound was ready for me. Again I wheeled out to freedom down the hall to the ultrasound room. They began by measuring his heart rate which was strong at 139. They then checked my fluid. This time it measured around 2 cm. Just last week I was at around 6, then 4 on Tuesday, and now at 2. Yes, I know it dropped, but it really didn't surprise me. As Asher gets bigger, it will be more difficult to keep a large amount in. I was just happy that he still had some, which is a true blessing! They then did the BFI. He did well on all his movements, but I knew the fluid one would be hard to pass. They would have to find a 2 by 2 pocket, which they haven't been able to find in the past. So again they couldn't, and being that my fluid was low, I suspected that. Asher scored an 8 out of 10 which is amazing! If he would of had a 2 by 2 pocket, he would have a 10. But that didn't bother me! God has blessed him to move around just fine despite the small fluid I have, and that is a miracle!

I then got wheeled back to my room to finish monitoring and to order lunch. Once my lunch came, I got off the monitors knowing Asher's heart was beating strongly and ate. James and Easton returned and brought in my beautiful light blue mint dress. James placed Easton on the couch as the poor guy was exhausted and ran back to the car for food. While James was out, Easton cried as he was just that tired. It broke my heart, but was glad to see him peacefully take a nap and cuddle with his daddy once James returned.

Easton slept peacefully on the couch as the alteration lady knocked on the door. I never met her before, but she was another blessing as she took time out of her day to come to the hospital and pin my dress. I was surprised because the upper part of my dress fit me perfectly. I thought it would be a little big, but it wasn't. She just had to take my shoulders in some. The dress was a little long, so she pinned it up about an inch or so. She then spent some time talking with us which was very nice. As she left with my pretty dress, I again thanked her for doing this for me. She is truly another gift sent from God and will help me feel part of my sister's big day.

After she left, I asked the nurse if she thinks on my sister's big day I could be wheeled outside and stand to take some photos of me in my dress along with James who kindly agreed to dress in the shirt, tie, and pants I had got him for her wedding. She said certainly. Even though I won't be at my sister's wedding, having the technology plus being allowed to step outside, which I haven't in over a month, and take pictures will make the day still very special. They really go out of their way here to make things work and make you feel like you are still part of a very special day. I thank God again for letting things fall into place in a way that will not make the day sad, but happy!

As Easton still rested on the couch and James ran another errand, I had him put in a DVD that Donna brought me to watch of an amazing speaker. He talked about how AMAZING God truly is... how he created the Universe which is bigger than we know, how he created each of us and how each of us are a miracle, and how God uses our hard times for us to grow closer to Him. I loved watching every moment of it, and thank Donna for sharing it with me. She also brought me a few books and more DVDs to watch. What a blessing she is. And I couldn't thank God enough for letting her enter my life. It is so neat to be able to talk about faith in God with her. She is an amazing nurse and an amazing woman!

Easton then woke up and was back to his normal silly self. I held a plate with his happy meal food as he ate it. We then played trucks and made silly faces at each other. I again cherished each moment with him and look forward to a weekend spent with him!

Dear God, thank you for Your beautiful works. Because of You, I have nothing to fear. Through my trust in You, You will guide Asher and I to Your amazing plan. Thank You for guiding me to wonderful people who go out of their way just to help me in any way. Thank You for the awesome prayer warriors who continue to pray and fight with us each day. I praise You as You continue to keep Asher and I strong and guide us and protect us with Your loving hands each day. Nothing is impossible with You. I love You above all things!

We can't be more grateful to have all of you our prayer warriors sticking with us each step of the way. Know Your prayers are truly powerful and we feel them all around us. Let us continue to stick with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight for Asher! God is truly amazing and what a miracle Asher is!

God is Good

This morning I woke up refreshed to another night and morning of monitoring sessions with Asher's heart strong. I then ate breakfast and read my daily readings and Bible verses as James slept on the couch. The high risk doctor stopped by and was excited to hear that Asher would hit the 27 week milestone Saturday. After she left. I took a little nap since the room was dark with James sleeping.

At 10, I woke up James as he had to pick up Easton and run a few errands for his job. Easton was waiting at Carrie's house, after a night full of fun as he had a sleepover with Colton. While he was gone, I read a book and then got on the monitor again at 11. Again with God's beautiful grace, Asher was strong.

As I got my monitoring belts off, James and Easton walked in. I was so filled with joy to see my little buddy. I miss him so much, so each moment with him I cherish so much. He ran to me to give me a hug and show me a sticker he got from Target as he and daddy had to stop there, a black snake from Colton's that he just had to have, and a scrumptious cookie that Carrie gave him. He knows mommy dislikes snakes, so he made the snake sound and pretended the snake was getting me. It was too cute. He then begged daddy to eat his cookie, but daddy only allowed one bite since he had to eat lunch first. Easton was okay with that, and once he ate his lunch, he got to eat his yummy cookie!😊

While I ate lunch, I couldn't stop smiling as Easton put all his trucks and cars on my bed and said, "You play cars mommy." So once I finished eating, Easton and I played cars while James tried to sneak in a nap.
 After playing cars, he wanted to color. So I got the markers and paper pad, and he began to color. He then made sure I colored with him, as he wanted me to draw Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, and Donald, along with a heart for him, mommy, Asher, and daddy. My Disney drawings cracked me up as they didn't look like them at all. However that is what is so special about Easton, as to him they were perfect. He then used his coloring skills and colored them. I enjoyed every moment of our coloring time today!

Easton  then was hungry again, which is no surprise lol, so he munched on white cheddar popcorn while watching Paw Patrol. He thought it was so cool because as he ate popcorn, the dogs on Paw Patrol were snacking on popcorn too.

A little later, it was time for my shower
As I was getting ready, Easton kept playing with the door. James and I told him to stop as we didn't want his fingers to get caught.
 However, before we could catch him, the door got his fingers and Easton began crying as it scared him and hurt. Being a mom I ran to him to be sure his little hand was okay and to just tell him mommy loves him. It is a normal mommy instinct to go straight to him and get down to his level.  Before knowing what I was doing, I caught myself about to kneel down, totally forgetting that I am not to do that. Thankfully I caught myself pretty quick. It is just the mommy in me as I want to be there for my children and do all I can to heal their wounds and to show them how much I love them. The nurse saved the day and came in with ice so Easton could place his little hand on it. Thankfully his hand was fine, and he was glad to have ice to make his hand feel better. We now call the door a mean door so Easton will not play with it. It cracks me up each time Easton says, " mean door... you get away! You hurt me!". We were just glad God and Josh were looking over him and protected his tiny fragile hand.

After that scary incident, Easton rested on the couch with his ice while James helped me take a shower. Once I got out, Easton and James got ready to go as James was taking Easton to Maverick's, and then he had to go to work. Easton couldn't wait to leave to see his buddy. Ali and Jesse were taking Maverick and him swimming, so that excited him too! It is hard to only be with him for a few hours, but it makes me so happy to know he has buddies to play with and how excited he gets to spend time with them! For that we are blessed! Plus, I couldn't be more grateful that God blessed me with time with my buddy today and that Easton was truly my buddy as he played with me the whole time. God knew that was something my heart was missing, so what a gift He gave me today! God is so good!

After they left, my sister called me on Skype and I got to view their photo DVD that they are playing at the wedding. It has photos of her and Hunter from birth to present. It made my day that I got to see it. I have to admit, I had to hold tears back as anytime I see photos from the past it just brings me tears of joy, and it again hit me that I would be missing her wedding. However, I stayed strong because what a blessing Skype and technology will be on her wedding day as I won't miss her wedding fully, I will still be able to watch and share my speech while being blessed with fighting for Asher at the same time. I could not be more grateful nor would I want to trade the situation in any way! God blessed me with this fight and with my little miracle. It is a gift to stay here and fight while getting to enjoy the wedding in a more unique and special way. I will be honest, I am not the biggest fan when it comes to technology as I feel it can be overused and take over our lives if we let it, but I am grateful for Skype and programs that help in situations like this and allow me to still feel part of my sister's special day!

This evening I look forward to my dad visiting. He has a meeting down here, so it is nice that it allows him to visit. My dad means so much to me, so I cherish all the time I get to spend with him. Without my wonderful family I wouldn't be who I am today. I thank my dad for giving me the gift of faith in God. Not all children are blessed with knowing God, and I am just so grateful that he brought God into my life!

I want to send a special thank you to Carrie and Ali's family for taking care of Easton this week and blessing him with so much fun! I know you have heard me say it before, but you are angels to us! Easton wouldn't have the joyful summer he is having, without your generosity and kindness! He enjoys the time spent with you! Thank you for taking him in like a son of your own! You are such wonderful friends! 😊

Dear God, Thank you for a great day with Easton. It felt so good to have him close and to get to play with him. He brings so much joy to my heart and keeps me strong. Thank You for protecting his little hand and letting him have another fun week with his buds. I praise You as You continue to keep Asher and I strong. You never leave our side, and hold our hand through each climb. You are a graceful God full of mercy and miraculous works. Thank You for this amazing fight and Asher, our little miracle staying happy, blessed, and strong inside! I trust fully in You, and I love You above all things! Amen.

I hope all of you know what amazing friends you are to us! God is so good as he has blessed us with thoughtful and caring prayer warriors throughout this fight! Your prayers do wonders! Where two or more are in prayer, God is truly there! Let us continue to thank God for all his goodness and join Him, Josh. And all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight. Our full trust is in Him, and He will help master this fight through His beautiful grace and everlasting love.

God is Beautiful

Last night, before I ate supper, I had my monitor on while Dr. Pyle, the Nicu doctor visited. He told me I was having some contractions, and it caught me by surprise because I had no idea. I then asked him some questions I had concerning once Asher arrives. One thing I learned is that there is a chance he could go home at 36 weeks if he passed all the tests. But he should be able to go home for sure by week 38 as long as he passes all the tests. Sometimes we may think September seems so far away, but God has truly let this time go by pretty quick. I can't believe 4th of July is already almost here. It is a blessing that God has given us this fight and how He makes you realize that when you trust in Him and stay strong, you will get through this fight before you know it. Again, I was so glad Dr. Pyle visited me as he always brings sunshine into the room when he enters.

Once he left, I decided to get up and check the contraction monitor and use the restroom in case maybe it was again causing me to have contractions. Once I looked at the paper, I did see contractions. My belly did cramp here and there, but didn't think of contractions. So, I went to the restroom and then went back on the monitor. The nurse came in a little later and said they had stopped. I was relieved and thanked God.

I then ate supper and then made some more cross bracelets for my students this coming school year. A little later mt sister called and we talked for a while. It is always nice getting that time to talk to her as we don't get to see each other too much. Before I knew it, it was 11 and time to get back on the monitors. God blessed Asher with a strong heartbeat, and again blessed him with a great one from 5 to 7 this morning. 

I then ate my breakfast and waited for Easton to arrive. Mom was bringing him here early due to her having an appointment back home. When he arrived, he wouldn't let go of Mamaw Beckman's leg, and he didn't want her to leave. It was hard to see him bashful around his mommy and daddy, especially since he never was to us prior to this journey as we were hardly ever apart. So it broke my heart to see him be sad to see Mamaw leave as it probably gets hard for him to understand why he only stays at places for so long. But we know he has fun and it only took him a few minutes to be back to his normal self. It made my heart smile when I heard his tears turn to laughter and saw that smile appear on his face. 

Poor James didn't get much sleep with working nights this morning, but he was happy to see Easton. He and Easton went to our house this morning to do laundry and to give Easton time to play. Easton was excited to go home and get to ride his truck outside. As he was there, he played Doctor with daddy, and eventually decorated the whole house with his toys. Usually we would be sure he would only dump one crate of toys at a time to keep his toys organized and to avoid a room with toys covering the floor. But today didn't matter. What mattered to James and I was he got special time at home with daddy and time to enjoy his toys and his room. It mattered most that he was happy and having fun. He could have toys scattered in each room, but that didn't matter to us. We were just glad that God blessed him and James with time together and time at home sweet home.

Once they arrived back, we ate lunch and then watched cartoons. James tried hard to catch some zzz's, but little Easton wanted him to stay awake. It was cute hearing him say, "wake up daddy" and seeing him try to open daddy's eyes. Eventually Easton settled down and rested by him on the couch. Jame may not got much sleep, but he cherished Easton cuddling beside him. 

At 4:00 I woke James up as he had to get ready for work and drop Easton off before work at Carrie's. Easton popped up and was so excited. He was ready to go at that very minute as he knew he was having a sleepover with Colton. James even asked if he wanted to go to work with him, and Easton said,"no, I go to Colton's house!". Easton was so eager to go that he had to place daddy's work boots right in front of him. It was so cute to see. He then brought me his sandals and wanted me to put them on. So I told him to come up on my bed. It felt so good to have him sitting by me and to get that moment to simply slip his sandals on and velcro them. Again it was one of those moments I took for granted before this journey. Each day Easton and I would cuddle together and each morning I would help him with his shoes if needed. But again with it being a daily event, you tend to not always cherish it like you really should. I cherished each moment with him by my side today. He then gave me his heartwarming hug and kiss, and of course kissed Asher on my belly and told him bye. What a great big brother he already is! 

Currently I am again enjoying the miraculous sound of Asher's strong heart. Tonight I will relax and pray for another strong night for Asher. I will look forward to seeing James in the morning and of course Easton at lunch time! 

I want to send out a special thank you to Carrie and her family for graciously taking care of Easton and letting him sleep over. He was so excited, and I know he will have so much fun! Know you are angels to us and we cherish all your kindness! You continue to help Easton stay strong and have a fun summer, which means so much to us! 😊

Also, I want to send a special thank you to Jackie as she found a lady to alter my dress for my sister's wedding. I will get it altered this Friday. Even though I will be hopefully still strong fighting for Asher here during my sister's wedding, I will still get to wear my dress and have my hair and makeup done. It will make me feel apart of the wedding, even though I am not there. I will get to skype my speech not in a gown with crazy hair, but instead in the beautiful mint blue dress with my hair in curls and a fresh feel of makeup on my face. Jackie going out of her way to find me these generous people means so much! 

Dear God, thank You for all your beautiful blessings. Thank You for time with Easton and giving Easton time at home with his daddy and his toys. Thank You for keeping Asher and I strong throughout this fight. Thank You for blessing us with prayer warriors who stick with us each day, and for blessing us with people who go out of their way to help us in every way. You make everything beautiful even during the most difficult times. I place my full trust in You as You are guiding us to Your most amazing plan. You are a miraculous God, and I love You above all things. Amen.

Thank all of you for continuing to pray for us and ride with us through this fight for Asher. Without you, our prayer warriors, we wouldn't be as strong. Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight. I know Asher is smiling as big as James and me, as he feels God and all your prayers surrounding him just like we do. We love and appreciate all of you!

A Growing Warrior: Ultrasound Update

Praise the Lord, my soul. Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty. 
Psalm 104:1-4 

I want to begin this post with the Daily Bible Verse. I love this verse because as it said in the reflection for this verse, it doesn't matter how large your problem may seem, as the Lord is much larger. There is nothing too difficult for God. He is great and full of love, grace, mercy, and strength. This is why I place my full trust in God. Because He is always by my side and without Him, my journey would seem so difficult and dark. With Him, I see brightness, joy, faith, hope, love, and a road that isn't as bumpy as it would be without Him in my life. I am so grateful to have God in my life, as he loves me with an everlasting love and reminds me that I can overcome even the roughest of mountain climbs. 

Last night, my fluid changed back to a normal color and the pink tint went away. For that I was grateful as I could sleep better, especially as James was working nights. Asher again stayed strong on the heart monitor, with just a few dips. I woke up this morning to lab work feeling tired, but feeling relieved to see James sleeping on the couch beside me. 

Asher had another good monitoring session, and then I ate breakfast. During breakfast, the high risk doctor came in. She checked over everything. She also checked to see if I was tender anywhere in my belly area, as was the norm each day. As she did, when she pushed on my lower left side I felt some pain. I then told her about my pink leakage yesterday and how I got low pains. I told her I wasn't sure if Asher was putting pressure down there or if it was due to restroom pains. She told me to keep an eye on it. I didn't feel too bad then. 

After she left, I read my daily readings and daily Bible verse. I then took a nap, as James was still sleeping and with it being dark on the room and I feeling tired, I just couldn't stay awake. I then woke up a little later as my stomach began to have those low pains again. It felt better after I got up and used the restroom etc. My nurse then came in for my monitoring. I was doing okay through most of the 2 hr time, but the last half hour I got in a lot of pain. I usually am strong, but the low pain got to the point that I curled into a ball and cried. James told me to buzz the nurse, so I did and she then gave me a uranalysis to see if mayve I had a UTI. After I got the monitor belts off and took the test, I felt somewhat better and ate lunch. I almost felt like the pain was worse when the belts were on maybe due to the pressure of them. So having them off was relieving.

I continued to wait for my ultrasound as we would find out his growth today as they do it every 4 weeks. The last growth, which was at 22 weeks, Asher was at 465 grams, which is around a pound. So I was curious how much he weighed now. My nurse told me they were swamped, so my ultrasound would be later. So, James and I decided to go ahead and give me a shower. 

Just as I got out of the shower, my high risk nurse came in to check on me as I had the unpleasant pain earlier. I told her I felt a little better, but still felt tender here and there in the same area. She pulled up my lab results, and my blood count was still good and my urine was negative for a UTI or bacteria. However, she said that they will send it off to cultures to be sure, but she thinks it will still be negative. So, I just am to watch it and when I had my ultrasound she said they will check that area too. 

Just as my high risk nurse was about to leave, my nurse knocked and said they are on there way to get me for ultrasound. I was relieved that the time finally came, especially since James would be able to go with me since he didn't have to leave for work yet. We were grateful because he didn't want to miss it, as it was growth measurements this time. 

Sitting in the wheelchair and getting wheeled down the hall felt so good. It was the one moment that I got to escape my room and it felt like stepping outside on a nice summer day and getting fresh air. They began measuring Asher's heart rate which was 142, which is strong. His cord is still around his neck, but they will continue to closely monitor me as they have to be sure it doesn't cause him any distress. They then did my fluid levels and I was at around 4 cm, so I did lose about a cm, but 4 cm was still good. They then checked my placenta and ovaries since I had pink leaking and lower pain. They said they thought everything looked good, but will have my high risk doctor check everything to be sure. Then it was time to see how big Asher was. To do this, they take two measurements of his head, one of his abdomen, and one of his femur. They did several measurements to be sure it was accurate. Coming in, I thought he would be close to 2 pounds, but a little under. At Dr. Hopf's I believe he was at the 45th percentile. My eyes lit up and I smiled as they told me his growth was great and he was at the 50th percentile weighing at 2.2 pounds! I really didn't think he would weigh over 2 pounds, so that just made my day and thank God for taking great care of him. He is truly a miracle wrapped in God's beautiful loving arms! 😊


I am now lying here with the monitor on listening to Asher's strong heart, and smiling as I can hear hiccups along with his heart. He seems to get them quite a bit lol. James just left, and so I am sitting here in thanksgiving for this amazing journey God has blessed us with. Our little miracle and warrior has grown over a pound, continues to have a heart with a strong beat, wiggles around to let me know he is there and okay, and has made it this far! I could have took this journey and not let God in, and tried to battle myself. But that was not even an option in my heart. Without God, I would slip, fall, and be living in darkness. Without God, Asher wouldn't be the strong little miracle and warrior that he is. Without God, Asher and I wouldn't be where we are today. Without God, my days wouldn't be full of joy, hope, and love. Without God, I would be weak. It is because I kept God close and put my full trust in Him, that Asher and I are where we are, that Asher's heart beats strong, that Asher is 2.2 pounds, that Asher and I live in the light and have faith God will guide us to His beautiful will. It is because I keep God at the center of my heart that God is holding Asher's and my hand through this fight and that we remain strong. For no problem is too large when God is with You, as no problem is too big for God. 

Thank You God for the gift of this fight and amazing journey. I feel so blessed that through this time I have grown closer to You as I longed for, and have kept strong through the great strength You bring me , which keeps Asher so strong. I couldn't imagine life without you. You are my hope, srrength, love, and greatest friend. Nothing is impossible with You by our side. I place my full trust in You, and I love You above all things! Amen.

I hope all of you had a great day. We pray for all of you daily as we are so blessed to have each of you in our life and here to keep us strong. May we continue to join together in prayer with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints through this amazing fight. The prayers are surrounding Asher, and I know he feels them inside. As we stay strong for him with God at our side, Asher stays strong and grows stronger each day! He is a warrior who is growing beautifully because of God's miraculous grace! Thank all of you for sticking with us in this fight. We love all of you so very much!

Little Warrior

Life is a beautiful ride.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3

Last night after James and I played several rounds of Uno, I got my monitors on and then we went to bed. I was awoken at some point from 11 to 1 to again turn sides as his heart rate dipped for a couple minutes. However, once I shifted, it went right back up. He then did well during the session from 5 to 7 this morning. I then ate breakfast as James headed to make some errands. He is working nights again this week, so I have the blessing of his company during the day. It makes my days during the week go a lot quicker. As he was gone, I read my daily Bible verses, Daily readings, and daily devotion books.

Before I knew it, it was time for my next monitoring session and James was back. As I relaxed to the sound of Asher's strong heart, I got on Etsy to look up onesies for Asher. I found some that said "Little Miracle", "Worth the Wait", Mom's Little Warrior", "Dad's Little Fighter", "Brave Little Warrior", "God's Little Miracle", and "For This Child We Prayed". They all are so neat, and I plan to order some once our little miracle arrives. It then hit me, I was indeed having a God Moment.

You may ask how are onesies a God Moment? Well of course because they remind me each day how blessed we are that God is with us and how God blessed us with Asher who is a warrior and a miracle from above. But it was the word warrior that got me.

 Prior to this journey, I had Asher's nursery theme picked. I always like unique themes, so instead of looking on the store sites for a boy nursery theme bedding, I decided to search Pinterest and Etsy to see what sort of unique themes were out there. James wanted to include deer into the theme. So I searched deer nursery theme, not knowing what I would come up with. Then I saw it. I saw bedding and wall art I loved that would look good with Asher's light grey wall.
The theme was deer and arrows. The colors were navy, mint, grey, and white. I didn't understand the arrows with the deer, but there was just something about it that caught my eye. I went ahead and ordered the bedding for a lady to make and planned on ordering the wall art later. I remember my mom and sister liking the theme too, but we all were unsure the meaning behind the arrows.

Well today God made it clear to me. He guided me to that theme and let it catch my eye. I didn't know the meaning of the arrows at the time, but God did all along. He knew that Asher and I were going to journey this fight together. He knew that Asher would be a strong fighter..... a little warrior, and that he and his mommy would have prayer warriors surrounding us. He knew we would have to be brave and never give up. The arrows symbolize a warrior. God knew that Asher's nursery needed to be warrior themed. This hit me when I saw the words "Mom's Little Warrior" on the onesie as it had arrows surrounding the words. I then looked up warrior wall art, which again included words like "Be Brave Little Warrior" surrounded by arrows. I then looked up wall art with the verse Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and Courageous, the Lord God is with you wherever you go." There it was in front of me, the arrows again with the verse. I always love including this verse in my sons' rooms to add with my brother Josh's picture so they come to know him as there uncle who is a guardian angel looking over them in Heaven. God answered my "why arrows?" question today through this beautiful God Moment. It was chosen to describe who he created Asher to be, a Warrior blessed by God. Thank You God for guiding me to the perfect nursery theme, as You always guide us to Your most beautiful plans!

After I experienced that meaningful God Moment, my belly began to hurt a little. I had James look at the contraction monitor, and I had a couple contractions.  I then decided to use the restroom as I felt that may have been causing them. After I went, I plugged the monitors back in and the contractions were gone. So I felt relieved. The nurse then came in, and she took the monitoring belts off as Asher again stayed strong and my contractions left. I then ate lunch. After lunch,  James needed a nap due to his work schedule and I wanted to work on my cross bracelets in the recliner to get a break from my bed. So I placed my prayer sash and Rosary on my belly and Easton's deer blanket on me as I made 4 bracelets and James tried to rest on the couch. After about an hour, I began my Rosary, but then my belly began to hurt and I felt leaking. So I had James help me up and headed to the restroom. Worry entered me some as I saw pink leakage on my pad. I calmed down and reminded myself all is okay because God is right here with Asher and I. I contacted my nurse, and she then came in to check it. She agreed it had a tinge of pink to it, and told me to watch. I then finished my Rosary, while I srill had some more leakage and it was pink again. She again looked at it and said again to watch to make sure it doesn't become red or green. She said with the few contractions I had earlier it could be that they irritated my cervix and caused some very light pink bleeding. She made me feel better as she said it can happen, and she reminded me that I will have my blood work in the morning and my ultrasound. So, I will continue to keep an eye on it. Asher again stayed strong throughout his monitoring this evening. So, I then ate supper and  now am typing this post.

So tonight I will continue to watch and stay calm. No matter what God is right here with Asher and I and he will keep us strong and protect us. He will continue to hold our hands and shield us with His everlasting love. Thank You God for being our greatest Warrior. You protect us each day and keep us strong and brave. You never leave our side and hold our hands. You send us beautiful God Moments that show us how Amazing You are. You guide us to Your paths for us, and create for us a life that is a beautiful ride. You are a Merciful and Miraculous God! I love You above all things! Amen.

We hold all of you in a very special place inside our hearts. Each of you are warriors as you never give up fighting for Asher. Let us join hands with the greatest Warrior God, along with Josh, and the Angels and Saints in this amazing fight for Asher. Your prayers and endless love mean so much! May God bless all of you with his beautiful love!

Family Time

Last night after supper, I decided to try out the recliner near my bed. As I sat down, it was soft and refreshing. It was a nice change from the bed I have been in for a month. James brought in his card set and we decided to play cards to pass time and bring some fun into the night. Honestly, we aren't people who play cards much, so we decided to take the easy route and play War. Before playing, James looked the rules on his phone since we haven't played since probably childhood, and it made us laugh because it said that it was the most common card game played by children. We may be adults now, but we still had fun.😊 James then read directions that came with his card set on how to play poker. We decided to try it out, but I am not sure if we ever really figured out how to play lol. I think we need someone who plays cards to teach us lol. But I just was so grateful that God gave James and I an evening to enjoy one another with smiles and laughter as we tried to play cards. I also enjoyed having time in the recliner, as it made me feel more at home.

After cards, it was time to find my way back to bed, get monitored and go to sleep. It was another night of relaxation as Asher's heart remained strong, and for that I am so thankful. God is protecting him and is continuing to keep him strong. He is so beautiful!

After my monitoring this morning, I ate breakfast and James headed home to finish painting the door, mow the yard, and do some grocery shopping for work this week. While he was gone, I read my daily Bible verses and daily readings, along with created some Father's Day Cards for my dad and his dad to go with Easton's gift. Thanks to Pinterest, I had an idea stored in my mind for a few months on what I wanted Easton to give his Papaws who he loves so much. Since his Papaw Fettes won't receive his gift yet, I will share the gift Easton gave his Papaws next week, once both Papaws receive them. I then also made a card for my dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day and to let him know how grateful I am to have him as my dad. I am so blessed to have him as my dad as he has shown me how to be strong throughout my life as we have experienced  bumpy roads together. He always taught me and continues to teach me to keep God at the center and trust fully in Him, as He will always guide us to His amazing will and bring light to even the hardest times.

Before lunch, Father Ed visited with me, which always makes my every Sunday so special. We prayed together and he gave me Communion. It is always refreshing to talk with Father Ed about Asher's miraculous progress and God's beautiful blessings. I thank him for coming each Sunday to bring me Jesus. It is the greatest way to begin each week knowing that I have received Jesus and reminds me that He is always right with me.

I then ate lunch and excitedly waited to see my parents and Easton. I just happened to look out my window the moment they were walking in. It brought me smiles and joy to see them finally here. With it being Father's Day, I was so glad to spend time with my dad and to know Easton would have time with his daddy today! 

When they walked in, Easton sat in Papaw's lap so Papaw could put stickers on his car he got from a Happy Meal, while Mom showed me the Sperries she got Easton for Lacy's wedding and how she also got him a nice pair of brown sandals. It made my day as it was on my to do list to get him those shoes this summer. She also got some silk therapy for my hair as it has become dry and knotted lying in bed quite a bit. Hopefully it will help prevent so many knots and bring hydration to my hair finally. Mom also bought us some Uno cards to give James and I something to do, along with a cross bracelet kit that I have been wanting to keep me busy during the day. Each year I give my students something special for their birthdays, and this year I wanted to create something extra special for them that would remind them how much God loves them and how He is always there for them no matter what. So with the time of rest that God has blessed me with to keep Asher strong, I am going to make my future students each a special cross bracelet to give as a birthday gift this coming school year. She also brought me magazines filled with inspirational stories that my mother-in-law told her to bring me, along with a present from a family friend. I am so blessed to have parents who go out of their way to make my everyday and do all they can to help me in so many ways. I love them so much!

When my mom gave me the present, my heart filled with joy. I opened the inspirational card filled with a thoughtful and meaningful letter that meant so much to me. The card and present was from Deb, who is my Aunt Diane's twin sister. She has always been like family to us and full of kindness and has a beautiful passion for God. Inside the bag was something so special, pretty, warm, and powerful. It was a prayer sash knitted by hands of devoted people from Saint Joseph Parish.  Each stitch was done with love and prayer, and the beautiful blue sash was blessed too. I have never received such a unique and powerful gift like this! I look forward to placing it over my belly to keep Asher warm and blessed. Thank you so much Deb for the kindness of your heart. It is such a meaningful gift that I will cherish so much, and Asher too! I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness, kind note, and all your prayers for Asher, my family, and me! You are truly an angel in my eyes!

My parents then left to run some errands to give Easton and his daddy some time together. They went on a duck hunt outside as James saw ducks this morning, raced cars on the floor of the room, threw blocks back and forth, snacked on Easton's favorite (chocolate of course!), and then crashed on the couch to Disney cartoons, while I spent time relaxing in the recliner and my bed. I also taught Easton to say "Happy Daddy's Day!". I forgot to mention that Easton of course gave his little brother a kiss on the belly too! O and he thought it was funny to go around and smell his, daddy's, and my feet and say "stinky!". I just love time with him as he brings laughter and smiles to my heart! 

Tonight I look forward to Olive Garden as James is getting him and me to go. On Sunday evenings, we decide to treat ourselves with a special meal beside the usual. We will also play Uno to bring fun to the evening before going to bed and preparing for another monitoring session. It's these moments I cherish as before when going out to eat or playing a game together was more of a norm and something that at times you don't realize how much of a treasure it is.

Lastly, as it is Father's Day, I want to send a special message to my husband from his sons and me. God knew you were perfect for me. He knew I needed someone strong, caring, thoughtful, and who would stick with me through it all. If I didn't have you by my side, I wouldn't be as calm and strong. You make my everyday so special. Love, Jenna

Daddy, I love you so much. I love how you let me feed the birds, go on a bunny hunt, help you dig dirt, and drive my truck and Jeep outside. I love how you build houses out of Legos with me, share your chips and dip, and throw ball back and forth with me. 
I love how you spray me with the hose, get me a M&M cookie when we go grocery shopping, let me feed the cows at Mamaw and Papaw Fettes', and just cuddling with me and loving me. You are the bestest daddy! Happy Daddy's  Day! Love, Your Little Turkey Easton

Daddy, I know we haven't met quite yet. However , we have a special relationship. I can hear you and feel you near me each day as I fight inside Mommy's tummy. You loved me and I loved you since my life first begun. My love for you grows more and more each day as I know what a wonderful daddy you are and can't wait to meet you once I enter the world. Thank you for sticking with Mommy and Me through it all. God gave me a miracle by letting me stay strong and fight as He holds my hand. He tells me he has a special purpose for me and that I am a miraculous gift to you, mommy, and my big bro. Daddy know I already know how blessed I am that God picked you as my daddy, and I can't wait to meet you daddy so very soon. Hang in there Daddy as I know you will because you are strong... after all that is where I get my strength from... from my special daddy.. you! Love you daddy, Your Little fighter and miracle, Asher.

Dear God, thank you for another day filled with your unending blessings. Thank you for time with my husband, Easton, Asher, and my parents. Thank you for the gift of time for James to spend with Easton. Thank you for keeping our little miracle strong and giving us the treasure of this fight. Most importantly, as it is Father's Day, thank you for being the Most Amazing Father of all. You keep us strong, You give us hope, and You shine Your everlasting love on us each day. We trust You with our whole heart and cherish all the comfort You bring us. We love You above all things! Amen.

To all the fathers reading this post, Happy Father's Day! Thank all of you for sticking with us in this fight for Asher! Your thoughts and prayers are so powerful, and us along with little Asher can't be more grateful! Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints as prayer warriors in this fight. You all mean so much to all of us. We love all of you so much and may God bless all of you always! He is miraculous!