Update..All praise to God

We have learned the nicu will be an up and down rollercoaster ride. However, all we got to do is hold tight on to God and fully trust in His miraculous plan. My friend Jane said she found a beautiful poem Google so I think I ran into it too... it is so touching... so I added it:

A Prayer from the N.I.C.U.

by Tara Roper

Dear God,

I have a request to make.

Just a moment of your time it will take.

You see, my parents, are heartbroken and sad,

and they have prayed to you with all they had.

Could you just hug them and remind them you care,

as they are wishing I was at home, not here.

This time is confusing, unlike how they pictured it would be,

But I want them to know that you take care of me.

Although I am sleeping in this little bed,

and I am often too tired to raise my little head,

please remind them that I know they did their very best.

And that at night I am protected as I sleep upon your chest.

They think I am so lonely when they are away,

and if I could tell them, I would say

"I know this is hard, and God understands,

But just know He has never let go of my hand.

He is always with me, like He is with you,

and all this has a purpose too."

And God, while I am in this temporary N.I.C.U. home,

I just want them to know I have never been alone.

What a beautiful poem that truly touched my heart!

When Asher first entered the nicu, he had great oxygen levels and they even told James that if he continued this amazing uphill path, they would try to take oxygen tubes off. (Going uphill in a rollercoaster). I just remember when I first saw him thinking... what a little miracle you are and how precious and tiny he is. Our parents enjoyed getting a moment with him too.

A couple hours later, around 3 am, I managed to get myself out of bed, of course with the support of my husband and my night nurse. I then managed to stand up and walk to my wheelchair. I was so proud of myself! So, the nurse along with James wheeled me to visit Asher. When we got there, Asher then took a downhill movement as he now needed oxygen and was needing 100% which is max. It was very hard seeing him hooked up to the ocinator as it shook his little body, but again we have our full trust in God and He is not only holding Asher's tiny hand along with ours, but I have faith and know He is l guiding the nurses and doctors as well. They also sedated Asher so he would take the fast movement of oxygen better. 

As exhaustion hit us, we headed back to the room, but never once stopped praying. We did our best to sleep, but first nights are always tough especially when you can't get our little warrior off our minds.

We woke up the next morning, and they dropped his machine to 60. We felt so blessed that God was watching over him and holding his hand all night. We stayed with him for a little while, then it was time for me to pump back in the room. So I pumped and relaxed some as I was still exhausted. 

We then headed back and forth throughout the day. Everytime we were with him just felt amazing. When he got excited, James hands were like miracles because he would rest them through the holes if the giraffe bed and lay them gently on Asher. His heart would drop to a relaxing level and his oxygen would also do very well. So the nurse took a neat photo of that. It was a very special daddy son moment. As he did that, I would keep my Rosary in my hands and pray for our little miracle. I just felt God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints surrounding Asher and us. We also had the nurse tape the miraculous photo of Jesus that was hanging in my room, the photo my mom gave me of my brother, and the special blessed Rosary that the older students at my school made and wanted to give Asher and me. All these things I know are very powerful!

We visited in the early evening when we knew Dr. Pyle was to arrive as he was on night shift. He was the nicu doctor who was here with us  the first week on, even though he didn't have to be. He chose to visit us each week and brought us so much hope with his amazing bedside manner and positive attitude. Right when we walked in the nicu, there he was and how quick he was to come to us and congratulate us. He led us to his office and showed us Asher's lung x-rays. He explained them to us fully and made us understand clearly. There is a chance he may have to come home with oxygen at first, but we won't know til then. With him being born early with low fluid his lungs aren't as developed as a 29 week old with fluid. He also explained how his first year of life he will need to be in a bubble, meaning not around a lot and not in a daycare environment, so we will figure that at as that is critical. We were just so grateful that Dr. Pyle took time with us and to explain to us the rollercoaster ride. So thank you so much Dr. Pyle. You bring sunshine to our roughest days and make us smile with hope.

We then rested in the room and I pumped milk for Asher. Before going to bed, we visited Asher again. His oxygen machine level went down to 40, which was another blessing from God. His goal is to get to 21. We spent time with our little miracle as the kind nurses surrounded us with kindness, love, and support. One nurse even took a neat photo of Asher, James, and me. There caring ways let us know that Asher was in great hands, and we especially knew that as God was holding his little hand and never has or will let go. So we then headed back to the room to get some sleep.

As we were sleeping, the nicu nurse snuck in and brought us the special photo they took of us. We didn't hear her come in, but when we saw the photo with the little note from Asher and saying how he was doing very well, our hearts melted, and when we heard he was doing well, our praises were sent to God and I knew all of you praying for him were helping greatly as God hears them and Asher feels them surrounding him.

Later in the early morning, the nicu nurse snuck in again, but this time I heard her. She brought us a note from Asher saying how he is doing and to say Happy Birthday to James. She explained to us how his oxygen machine was down to 28, again getting closer to 21. Then she said when we go in there, we will see a light in his giraffe bed and he will be wearing goggle shades. This is because he has jaundice which is very common for premies. We just thanked her again for her kindness in keeping us updated. It truly meant so much to us.

We then woke up, I told James Happy Birthday, and we ate breakfast. I then pumped milk for my warrior, and we got ready to head down to the nicu. I felt good and was proud of myself as I walked to the nicu with the wheelchair being my walker. When we got to the nicu, we made our way to our miracle. Before lifting the blanket covering his bed, we noticed a very neat gift for daddy. Taped near his bed was a cute photo of Asher that included words that said Happy Birthday Daddy! Love Asher. They then got his tiny footprints and traced his hands to their best ability and made James a special card. James said there wasn't any better gift! And I agreed! It is neat because James and Asher are 2 days apart in July and Easton and I are 5 days apart in November... so special!

We then opened the blanket and we saw our little Asher fighting strong. With the light on him and his black shade mask, we joked that it looked like he was sunbathing. Every time we see him, our hearts melt and we lift our praises to God for this beautiful miracle. We wouldn't trade this journey for anything. God is so merciful and amazing! His oxygen level on the machine was around 30, which again was miraculous and close to 21. Asher is a fighter and he is strong because he is surrounded by all your prayers and wrapped in God's loving arms.

During our visit we got updates and learned his lung x-rays were better tte today and his blood gas test was also good. Again all thanks to God's miraculous works and your powerful prayers! We also learned that he will start receiving 24 ccs of my milk a day. Since it is only day 2, my milk is still building. So we signed that he receive donor milk along with mine until my milk grows in supply.

We then headed to our room, as it was time to pump again and my mom and Asher were coming to celebrate James' birthday. As I pumped, mom and Easton came in with Dairy Queen shakes and of course an M&M blizzard for Easton. We then ate lunch and ate/drank our ice cream that tasted amazing! Easton then gave us a baby boy present from Mamaw and Papaw Beckman and Easton. Easton helped me open the present for Asher, and inside was a Mickey Mouse minky  blanket. It was adorable! I loved the little card from Easton as it was decorated with his scribbles lol. Then Easton gave daddy his birthday card from him. Then he gave daddy the card from my mom and dad that contained a Menard's gift card, which James loved....and so did Easton as he didn't want to let go of the gift card and wanted daddy to take him to Menards right then and there..so cute! Truthfully, Easton loves going to Menards with his daddy. 😊


I then rested my eyes as I was exhausted. While I did, Mom, James, and Easton packed things up in the room as I will be going  home tomorrow. So James and Easton took some of it home , while Mom and I visited Asher. Again by God's beautiful grace and your powerful prayers, Asher was doing well. I have faith that along with God, Josh, the Angels and Saints and your amazing prayers, that the miraculous photo of Jesus, the photo of my brother, and the blessed Rosary are doing wonders too. Mom enjoyed watching her grandson. She also feels so blessed to have a miracle grandson and sends her praises to God for His miraculous works.

We then headed back to the room for me to pump and eat supper. James and Easton returned too to eat. Then Mom and Easton headed home. They will be coming back tomorrow as mom will be staying with us to help out for a while along with helping with Easton. After they left, I pumped again and this time got 5 ccs of fluid, which the most I have gotten as 2 ccs was the most before. So we are hoping my milk is beginning to come as it will help Asher so much.

Tonight I will continue to pump every 2 hrs in day time and every 3 hrs while I sleep. Also, I will continue to pray to our Merciful God to continue to keep Asher strong and hold his little hand. Below I am sharing a powerful and neat prayer for preemie babies. If you could add this beautiful prayer to your daily prayers for Asher, it would mean the world!

Dear Loving and Merciful God, You are amazing. You continue to hold our hands through this rollercoaster ride. We know You are wrapping Your loving arms around Asher. As we are in the nicu, we are surrounded by a number of other babies, your precious children, who are also in need of prayers and Your loving arms. Please protect them too. You blessed us with a miracle and a beautiful ride. You are miraculous in a your ways and You keep Asher strong along with his mommy and daddy. We have our full trust in You and know You will pull us through to Your beautiful plan and blessing. We love You above all things. Amen.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for Asher and riding with us on this miraculous journey. God is so beautiful and your prayers are so powerful! Let us unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight for Asher. Asher is surrounded by your love and prayers, and we know he feels them, and they are doing wonders! Never stop praying! Nothing s impossible with God. He is so beautiful!

I know I haven't posted since Monday. Please know I will try to post updates as much as possible. With going to nicu, pumping, and trying to rest, it has been harder. But know I will post updates! Love all of you so much!