God is my strength

Last night we visited Asher before supper, as my dad was meeting us there to see his miracle grandson. James drove my mom, Easton, and me to see him. As always I smiled when I saw him. James and I saw him first. He was still at a great oxygen level of 20.7, but his pressure was still set at 33. The doctor said he would most likely be on the machine for a while. I held my tears in as it was hard to hear that. After the doctor left, the nurse shared a story that brought me comfort. She said there was a baby who was born at a pound and was on machine for 4 to 6 weeks, and the baby got off and was fine and actually went to his one year birthday party. It made feel better because Asher being on the machine for a while is scary to me. But I know God is with him and will keep him safe and bless his lungs with healing and get him off the machine at His perfect timing. It is just hard seeing him on it, but I am so grateful that Asher is the amazing warrior he is all thanks to God.

We then took my parents to see him. Then James and I saw him once more together to tell Asher our love yous and gnites. As always it was hard to leave him, but we left knowing he was in God's loving comfort.

On our drive home, I broke down. I was trying so hard to be strong, but I know it was good to cry and God would comfort me. It just was getting to me...  As dad and James were visiting Asher and I was in the lobby, a new mom was leaving with her healthy newborn. It made me think back to when I brought Easton home, and it just made me wish I could bring Asher home. It hit me that I was on bed rest for 7 weeks, yet James and I couldn't hold him. We sit and watch other parents holding their miracles, as we long for that moment. But then I stopped. I reminded myself where we came from. We could have lost our warrior that night this journey began, but through prayer and prayer warriors, God blessed us with our miracle and protected him for 7 weeks in my womb without much fluid. That is amazing! He blessed us with a safe delivery and our miracle son. He continues to wrap His loving miraculous arms around him and keep him strong. He blessed him with a normal brain scan, which the nurse told me she was very surprised he didn't have even a little bleeding, so our faith and your prayers were heard and God is so amazing! So, even though he is still on the machine and may be on it for a while, I know God is with him. I also won't stop praying that God may heal his lungs and bless him off the machine in His beautiful timing, and I believe in miracles as God is miraculous, that if in God's will, God will shine His miraculous works through Asher to get him off machine earlier and prove to the doctors and nurses how amazing God is and how strong Asher is.

When we got home, I was going to pump. However, my machine wasn't working. James also was told me they needed more milk for Asher's mouth cleaning. We were both exhausted, but we had to head back to the nicu to provide milk and get my machine fixed. However, once we got there, my exhaustion left me when I saw Asher. I praised God for this situation as it let James and I see him more. I know it not only brought us comfort, but Asher too. Again it was hard leaving him, but God, Josh, and the Angels and Saints were right there with him.

This morning I woke up and was excited because I was getting my hair cut. I grew it out for my sister's wedding so it was super long and very heavy. It was making showers hard, making me sweat, and getting in the way of pumping. A parent from Saint Wendel, Abby, was very generous and offered to come to my house to cut it. I couldn't be more grateful. She brought her 2 daughters and they played with Easton, as she cut my hair. She did an amazing job! I asked her how much I owed her, and she wouldn't let me pay her a thing. That meant so much to me. God had sent me another angel today. Thank you so much Abby for going out of your way to cut my hair which truly made my day! Your kindness is greatly appreciated!



I want to end this post with a God Moment. When I broke down yesterday, I asked God to send me Bible Verses and a Reading in the morning that would get me through and keep me strong. He truly answered my prayers! Here are the 2 verses, part of the Psalm, and part of the first reading that was a true blessing from God. He was truly talking to me. He is so beautiful!

No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. “Be strong and courageous." Joshua 1:5-6

Reflection:
God challenges us to be strong and courageous as we face life situations that we have never faced before. We need to remind ourselves that God is with us in Jesus Christ. Anything less is unbelief.

My reflection: God was reminding me to be strong through this journey. I can't let what I hear that can be hard, get me down. I got to trust in God because with faith in Him, nothing will stand in my way. He is always with me and will never leave me. He is my strength. My faith and trust are in Him.




6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

My Reflection: God is reminding me to cast all my anxieties on Him and to not worry. He is with Asher and will heal his lungs at the perfect timing. My prayers are heard and He is reminding me to focus on praising Him for all He has done and will continue to do as He is an amazing loving God.

Part of the First Reading:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I dedicated you,
a prophet to the nations I appointed you.
“Ah, Lord GOD!” I said,
"I know not how to speak; I am too young.”

But the LORD answered me,
Say not, “I am too young.”
To whomever I send you, you shall go;
whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Have no fear before them,
because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.

My Reflection: This reminds me of Asher. He knew Asher before he was created in me, and He has a special plan for him. He may be really young, as he is born several weeks early, but God had a purpose I'm sending him into the world to his mommy and daddy for a very special reason. He is with Asher and will deliver him from this fight to His beautiful plan and blessing. Asher has nothing to fear, ad God us always right there.

Psalm:
For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother’s womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

My Reflection: Again, God is reminding me that He is Asher's strength and He will pull him through at the perfect timing to His most beautiful blessing.

Dear Loving God, Thank You for always keeping me strong. Thank You for giving me a shoulder to cry on when times get tough. Thank You for sending me a beautiful message this morning to let me know You are always right here with me. Thank You for our amazing prayer warriors. Dear God, thank You for our amazing miracle Asher and for always wrapping Your loving, healing arms around Him. You keep him strong. I fully trust in You with my whole heart and know You will heal Asher's lungs and get him off the machine at Your perfect timing. You are miraculous, beautiful, merciful, and amazing. We love You above all things. Amen.

How much all of you mean to us!! We feel your prayers surrounding us. How strong are your prayers and how strong you keep us! May God bless all of you for journeying with us in this fight. May you continue to pray with us, and pray that Asher's lungs may be healed and he can get off machine in God's perfect timing. Let us join together in prayer with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight. Asher is comfortable and fighting strong in God's strong loving arms.