Signs From God All Around Us

Before I start this post, I want to say Happy 31 weeks to our miracle son Asher! You are such a warrior who amazes us each day with your strength. We know God is right with you always along with Josh, all the Angels and Saints, and your powerful prayer warriors. We can't thank God enough for blessing us with you, our miracle boy! We love you so much, and we can't wait to hold and cuddle with you!

They told us that the nicu would be a rollercoaster ride. Even though you hear it, when those down hill moments come, you never feel ready. However, if we didn't have God to hold us during the ride, we would never find the uphill climb. So when the down hill moment hit, I fell to pieces, but I then controlled myself to my best ability, and held tightly to God as He held me in His loving arms.

I woke up yesterday and ate breakfast and rested on the couch as my dad and Easton were playing toys. The quietness broke as my phone rang. I looked down and knew the number right away. I remember thinking... please just let it be an update from a nurse God... but something didn't settle right with me as I couldn't view Asher on webcam all morning, which was strange. I answered the call, and I heard the doctor's voice on the phone. I sat there in silence and hurt flooded my heart as I heard him say Asher wasn't doing well and that his levels were very high. He then told me they were going to try the jet machine to see if he takes it better. I asked him nervously if we needed to come. He said that they would get the machine started and see how he does and call us back. I remember ending the call, and thoughts entering my head... how could he have increased that much over night? We were just there hours ago and James got to change his diaper while I got to take his temperature and clean his mouth. Then I remember within seconds I wept uncontrollably. I remember my dad running to me and asking what was wrong. I remember telling him and then dropping to my lowest low as I wanted to be alone. I then kept asking God why?? I called James crying uncontrollably and told him. I remember at that moment I didn't know what to think. James told me to calm down and not lose faith. He said he would call nurse for more explanation and then call me right back. I then waited a few moments for his call, I then picked up and he said the nurses said we don't need to come in. They would call him in an hour to see how his new machine does, and if anything happens prior, they would call him. He then reminded me to stay strong and that he'd call me after nurses did.

I got off the phone and I pushed all my doubt away. I wasn't going to let negative thoughts win. Instead, I had to get myself together and cling to God and let him hold me through this very scary moment. As tears ran down my face, I texted all my prayer warrior groups in my phone for prayers and more prayers. They are so amazing as they were praying, asking prayer groups to pray, lighting candles, and sending me novenas to pray. It made me feel so safe. I then took the Lourdes water my dad gave me and placed water on Asher's pictures, my Crucifix, and my Rosary. I then clung tightly to my Rosary, Crucufix, and photo of Asher. I prayed hard and trusted fully in God's mercy. I wouldn't let go. I had to stay close to God as He was my rock and He would get me through this storm. He was right with Asher through it all. I kept praying for Asher's lungs to be healed and for God's miraculous works to shine through Asher proving to the doctors and nurses how powerful is God and how much strength he has blessed Asher with.

As a couple hours passed, my prayers continued and my sister was entering Evansville. She had sent me a message that on her way home from Indy on the interstate, 2 yellow butterflies has fluttered by her windshield. How often does that happen on the interstate? It made me smile and know God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints were with Asher and all of us. As Easton was in the tub, my dad sat near him and was on the phone. I wasn't sure who he was talking to. He then got off the phone, and it didn't surprise me the least bit what he just did. Being the faithful and loving dad and Papaw he is, he called Our Lady of Snows and donated an offering so in return Asher would be blessed with a lit candle daily for a year and a Mass once a month at both Our Lady of Snows and Lourdes. That meant so much to me. Right after he told me, my phone rang, but it wasn't James. It was the doctor. Nervousness entered me, but again I leaned on God in hope for a better call. Praises were sent straight to God the moment I heard him say Asher was doing better on the machine. He then added that the other machine appeared to be having some issues. When I heard about the machine possibly malfunctioning causing Asher's levels to rise, I just knew that was God. I had been praying hard for God to heal his tiny lungs and get him off the machine. I have faith and know God wanted him off that machine, so he let the machine malfunction to lead the doctors in changing machines that would be better for Asher and bring his lungs healing so he can in God's beautiful timing get off the machine and be held in mommy and daddy's arms. I couldn't stop praising God. The power of prayer is amazing and beautiful. God is always right here with us and nothing is impossible with Him. I then texted all my prayer warrior groups on my phone to tell them to send praises to God. Their prayers surrounded Asher and kept him strong. God is truly merciful and truly there when all of us gather in prayer.

My sister arrived to our house while my dad took Easton along to pick up lunch for us. Right after they left, my phone rang and it was dad. As he was leaving our driveway, there on our roof sat 2 grey doves. We again sent praise to God for His beautiful signs. Since my brother passed over 15 years ago, butterflies and doves have been our signs of God's beautiful presence and our gift from Josh reminding us he is always with us. As the day went on, the beautiful signs continued. When dad drove us in the car, my dad saw a yellow butterfly flutter beside the car. When we got home, James was home. He came into the house and said, "listen to this..." He told us that when he was eating lunch in his truck, a yellow butterfly went across his windshield. It brought us all smiles and we just knew God was with all of us today. In the early evening, James and his brother drove to pickup supper, and on their way, a yellow butterfly again flew by. How beautiful is God! He is all around us letting us know He is with Asher and us always. He would deliver us to His most beautiful plan in His beautiful timing.

After supper, all of us headed to see Asher in the nicu. When we arrived, James and I went to see how our miracle son first. We walked over and waited for the nurses to weigh him etc. The respiratory nurse was there too, which was a blessing as we wanted an update and explanation of how the jet machine worked. He said he would talk to us in a second after he and Asher's night nurse finished the necessities they were doing for Asher. As we waited, we watched our little miracle and a God moment occurred.... one so beautiful...one so heart warming....one that was a special gift from God. James had already witnessed it once before for a small moment prior to this day, but I never had. As we watched him, his eyes opened and looked over at us. It made my evening so special and I again sent praise to God for his beautiful grace. It was like Asher was saying, "see Mommy and Daddy, I am strong and fine... for God never leaves me."

Following that special moment, the respiratory nurse did a fantastic job thoroughly explaining to us how the machine worked and how it compared to rgeachine he was on prior. He truly took his time and explained the physics of the machine at a level we could comprehend. We learned that Asher's blood gases were at a much better level and his pressure and oxygen were much better than the bumpy ride in the early morning. They weren't right where they were prior to the mornings scary moment, but they were good. That is what mattered to us, after all patience is key. We must remember, it isn't our timing, it is God's, as He knows best and has a perfect timing for Asher's lungs to heal. As we sat there and stood in the presence of our miracle son, Asher's eyes opened to us two more times. It was so beautiful and a very special blessing from God.

I then walked my sister into nicu for the very first time. She smiled big as she saw him for the first time. She couldn't get over how small and precious he was. Then it happened.... Asher opened his eyes to her. I knew Asher knew his aunt was there and what a beautiful gift from God. Lacy didn't want to leave Asher. She enjoyed every moment with her miracle nephew. But he opened his eyes as she said goodbye, so that truly made her bye special.

James then brought his brother and my dad into see him. They both witnessed God's beautiful gift of Asher's eyes opening. Following their visit, James and I went back in to tell our warrior our Love Yous and Gnites. He was so precious and we didn't want to leave him. He looked like he was trying to open his eyes, and his hand looked as if he was trying to wave to us. We left knowing how blessed we were to have God with him always keeping him strong and blessing him with the warrior he is. We praised God for seeing him doing much better on the machine.

Dear Loving God, You are merciful and loving. You are truly miraculous in all Your beautiful works. As the winds blew in the stormy morning, You were there to hold us in Your comfort. Thank You for keeping Asher strong and guiding the doctors and nurses to Your beautiful way. Thank You for the blessings of yellow butterflies and grey doves to let us know You are right here with us. Thank You for shining Your miraculous works through Asher for all to see Your amazing mercy. Thank You for the beautiful gift of Asher's eyes opening to tell us he is doing fine as You are with him always. We have complete trust in You and know You will heal Asher's lungs and bless him off the machine in Your perfect timing. You are an amazing and loving God! We love You above all things. Amen.

We can't express how much gratitude we have for all of you, Asher's prayer warriors. He has remained strong because of all your endless prayers and God's unending mercy. We ask that you may continue to join us along with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in the amazing fight for Asher. Let us pray that God may heal his lungs at His perfect timing. God is BEAUTIFUL and Asher is strong because of God's amazing works! 

Happy 31 weeks to our little miracle Asher!