Wednesday evening, we got to see our miracle off the jet and on a normal ventilator. This ventilator provides less support and is more of an assistant to help Asher remember to breathe. It also helps his underdeveloped lungs prosper. It was the first time we saw him that he didn't have breathing tubes down his tiny throat. Instead, he had a thick tube inserted in his nose and just a very thin line down his throat for his feedings. I can't even put into words how amazing of a blessing it was to see him without a bunch of tubes down his throat. As I was cleaning his mouth, I felt and heard air come out of his nose for the first time. It was a true God Moment. It brought joyful tears to my eyes.
After James and I visited our miracle son, I brought my mom in to see him. It had been a few days since she saw him, so she couldn't get over of course how precious he was, how he had grown, and how she too was thankful to see him on a different machine. God blessed her with the God Moment we were hoping for her to see. As she was watching him, his eyes cracked open as if he was saying, "Mamaw I see you and am so glad you are here". After my mom saw her warrior grandson, my dad came in to visit. He too was so grateful to see his special grandson. He would love to spend a day just sitting by him, so it was hard for him to say bye and he didn't want to stop telling Asher how much he loved him.
James and I then went in together to say our love yous and nights. He looked peaceful, and we couldn't stop sending our praises up to God for blessing him off the jet and wrapping His healing arms around him as He continues to heal his lungs. God is truly miraculous!
On Thursday, Mom, Easton, and I went to the Health Department to pick up Asher's birth certificate along with going to the grocery to pick up a few necessities. It was my first time actually out where I felt I could comfortably stand, walk, and feel somewhat energized. We took a country back road to get to the Health Department. I enjoyed looking out at God's beautiful creation. As we were driving there and back, I just remember thinking how fast my bed rest stay at the hospital went. I was in there for 7 weeks, yet it seemed just like yesterday that I was out and about running errands and driving back and forth to work prior to this miraculous journey. I remember thinking in my hospital bed, I have weeks to spend here, then a c-section to get through, and then nicu stay, etc. At times it seemed like a long process, but looking back the weeks in the bed and the moment Asher entered the world truly flew by. If I didn't have God in my life, it would have went slow and not been the amazing experience it was and continues to be. It is with God, that he makes the days meaningful and not seem long. Now, I am back in the world, and how I look at things so differently. I no longer long to go in my car to go shopping for things for the house or eyeing a new vehicle I would love to have. Instead, I look forward to driving in my car enjoying the beauty of God's creation surrounding me, driving to DQ grateful for the gift of food God has blessed us with, driving to Church grateful for the amazing God we are so fortunate to have, and most importantly driving to the hospital to see my son, our miraculous blessing from our loving God... all while listening to beautiful Christian music praising our merciful God.
Thursday evening, James and I went to the nicu to visit our warrior. He was in a new bed, no longer the giraffe. However, it was still enclosed, so it was very similar to the giraffe bed. We were so grateful to see him. James changed his diaper, which another daddy surprise... poop! He also took his temperature, which read a little under 98. Because Asher was off his throat breathing tubes, if the nurse okayed it, we were able to hold him... something we longed for since the moment he entered the world. However, with his temperature being a little on the cooler side, we weren't able to hold him that evening. Even though we really wanted to, we knew God would will us that moment when that moment was right. As we were there, Dr. Pyle visited with us. Again as always, he brought us the gifts of smiles and laughter with his positive attitude and humor. As he was talking to us, the nurse was trying to get Asher comfortable. He was having a difficult time getting comfortable and was getting mad. He got so mad that he was showing us his amazing strength by lifting his head and moving it to another position. His heart rate rose high too. It made us a little nervous, but Dr. Pyle told us that with him readjusting to a different type of machine where Asher did more of the work, not being sedated as he was on other machine, and just being a preemie, those moments will occur. I told Dr. Pyle that he might be taking after his daddy with how strong he was lifting his head... might be a wrestler someday just like James was. It was hard for us to leave with him so angry. But we again knew God and Josh and all the Angels and Saints, along with your prayers were surrounding him. He would calm down in God's loving arms.
When Friday came around, I called the nurse in the morning to check on my miracle boy. The nurse informed me that his oxygen levels were a little elevated due to being a little more restless. She then informed me like Dr. Pyle informed us night before, that with repositioning and getting use to the machine and being a preemie, it is normal for them to be back and forth on their levels. She said when he stays at good levels, then that will be a sign that he will be about ready to get off the machine. But I know it is in God's timing as He knows when that perfect timing is for Asher. She then told me that his feedings were up to 16 ccs over a 2 hour period, which was an increase from 14 the day before. I was glad to hear that. I then told her that we would be in later in the evening and asked if she thought we may have a chance to hold him for the first time. She said as of his condition then, she thought we would have a good chance. She said it was up to the night nurse and Asher's condition, but she was rooting for us. I too was praying that God would bless us with that special moment tonight. But again, I just gave it to God and waited to see.
Mom, Easton, and I ran a couple errands throughout the afternoon.... getting Easton switched to new pediatrician, treating ourselves to ice cream, and then running to the post office to send off some mail and to purchase some stamps as I was in need of them for thank you cards to send out. When we got back, Mom packed up her things as she prepared to head back home. Again, I could never thank my Mom enough for spending the week with us to help us out. Without her, I don't know what I would have done. As I am still in recovery mode, it is difficult at times to do laundry, empty/load dishwasher, help Easton on the potty, etc. Plus her being here has allowed James and I evenings to go to the hospital together and see our miracle, while she helped us out by staying back at the house with Easton to entertain him and get him ready for bed. She is a true angel to us. Mom we love you so much! Plus.... Easton woke up this morning (now Saturday), and asked, "Where is Mamaw?" He was so use to seeing her each morning, that he forgot she left yesterday. It was too cute.
After Mom left and James got home, James' brother Adam arrived. He has come each Friday to visit us and Asher. Easton always has fun with his Uncle Adam. We sat out in our screened in porch while Easton played with his bubbles. We then ate supper and headed to the nicu. I couldn't wait to see my little miracle, and sat and wondered if tonight would be the night that I could snuggle with him for the first time.
When we arrived at the hospital, Adam entertained Easton by walking him outside in search of rabbits, rocks, and acorns. James and I headed into the nicu. When we arrived, Asher looked relaxed on his side. His oxygen level was at 47 which was still higher, but in God's timing it would lower. The nurse took his temperature and weighed him. This time we got to watch the nurses weigh him on an actual baby scale. Before he was weighed inside his giraffe bed. Now, he moved up to the actual scale. It was so neat to see them lay him gently in the scale and watch the weight rise. He weighed 3 pounds and 8.4 ounces. Asher didn't like it too much, but he made it through. I will never forget the next words she spoke to us. "You may hold him if you would like." Those were the words I have been longing for since the moment he entered the world. God was truly blessing us tonight. I couldn't stop smiling.
James pulled up the recliner and I sat down and leaned it back to a comfortable position. Before I held him, the nurses worked together in getting all the cords untangled and in the right position. I then had my nursing gown on, so I was able to do skin to skin. The next thing I knew, there he was lying on my chest, skin to skin, all soft, cuddly, warm, and indescribable. It felt like Heaven in my arms. They placed a blue hat on his head, a little big of course, but to keep him warm. They wrapped a warm blanket around him also to keep him at a good comfortable temperature. It was the most beautiful feeling to have him snuggled tightly to me. His little arms were holding on to me. His sweet head was snuggling right in my chest. He was so relaxed and cozy in my arms, as I felt the miraculous gift of his breathing touch my arm. I lifted praises up to God for this amazing gift in my arms. This gift that at the start of this ride wasn't expected to make it, but God had greater plans as nothing is impossible with Him. The gift that survived and prospered in me for 7 weeks. The gift that entered this world through God's beautiful grace. The gift that is wrapped in God's healing arms and continues to fight strong and prosper all because of God's miraculous grace. This gift was in my arms, and I didn't want to let go. I could have slept in that recliner all night and all day with him. We shared a special bond... a Mommy and Son bond... and we both knew it as we were both as relaxed as could be. Even though I didn't want to leave, I knew Easton was out with Adam and we needed to get back home to get him to bed and so Adam could head back home. Before that precious time was up, a nurse took several pictures of us. Photos that we will forever cherish. I just can't put into words what a beautiful blessing this moment was... holding my miracle and never wanting to let go.
That time came and we let the nurse know we were ready as we had to head back home. She asked if Daddy wanted to hold him, but James said his special moment would be Saturday. They then put him back into his bed. That warm cuddly feeling now was a memory, but only for a moment, as I will eagerly wait to share that moment with Asher again. He was not a happy camper at all when they put him back in. He was so cozy with his Mommy, and he knew that that bed wasn't his Mommy. She first put him on his back, but he wasn't going to take that. So, she then tried to put him on his belly and snuggle him all in with a passy in his mouth. He still knew it wasn't Mommy as he tried to wrestle his way out. His heart rate increased again. I didn't want to leave him a second night in a row with being so mad that his heart rate was elevated. I then thought I'd try to place my arms on him and talk to him. As I sat in the recliner with him, I gently rubbed his back and talked to him. So, I decided to place one hand on his precious head, and the other I rubbed his back gently while talking to him. His heart rate went down to a relaxing rate and he began to relax. It was the greatest feeling to be able to comfort him. Something again I wanted to do since he entered this world. He would then squint his eyes open to be sure I was there, as I told him I was. He did it several times, until he fell asleep. Again, a moment I can't explain. God blessed Asher and I with a Mother and Son special bonding moment... a moment neither he or I wanted to let go of. As much as I wanted to keep my hands on him, he fell asleep so I gently and carefully took my hands out and said gnite. I didn't want to leave, but I knew God was with him along with Josh and all the Angels and Saints and he was peacefully asleep.
Dear Loving God, I can't stop sending praises to You. You are a miraculous and loving God. Thank You for blessing us with Asher, our little miracle. Thank You for holding him in Your healing, comforting arms each day and night. Thank You for the power of Your healing grace as You continue to heal his young lungs. Thank You for blessing us with the gift of holding him. Thank You for the Mommy and Son bonding time together. Thank You for giving me the blessing of comforting him with my arms and words. Thank You for our amazing family. Thank You for blessing me with a mom who works so hard to help us. Thank You for Easton, an amazing big brother who loves his "Baby Asher" so much. Dear Loving God, You are Beautiful. Our complete trust is in You as You hold Asher in Your loving arms full of Your healing grace. We have faith that You will heal his lungs in Your beautiful, perfect timing as You know what is best for Him. We pray You continue to work through the hands, hearts, and minds of all caring for him as You continue to heal him. May Your miraculous works continue to shine through our little miracle for all to witness the amazing power of Your love and healing grace so all may grow closer to You. We love You above all things! Amen.
We are so blessed to have all of you, our prayer warriors, riding with us on this journey and endlessly praying for our little warrior. May God bless all of you for all your comfort, prayers, and love you send all of us each day. Let us continue to unite with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight in prayer for Asher's healing in God's beautiful timing. We love all of you so much! Asher feels your prayers surrounding him with a smile.
This is a beautiful post! So happy to read about your special moments with Asher! Happy 32 weeks Asher!
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Ali
So happy he is at 32 weeks and you got to hold him!! Beautiful pictures:) God has blessed you! Thinking of all of you on this journey:)
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome moment God blessed you with! Continued prayers for Asher to gain strength and keep fighting!
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