Here With Me Always

Responsorial Psalm PS 91:1-2, 14-15B, 15C-16

R. (see 2b) In you, my God, I place my trust.
You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,
who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
Say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.
Because he clings to me, I will deliver him;
I will set him on high because he acknowledges my name.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; 
I will be with him in distress.
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.
I will deliver him and glorify him;
with length of days I will gratify him
and will show him my salvation.
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.

This daily response hit me when I woke up from a much better night sleep. I slept not feeling like I was in a sweltering desert or in a frigid igloo. I didn't have pain, and my arm was free from the machine. I thank God for a great night's rest. Anyways, when I wake up I look forward to grabbing my phone and reading the daily readings and daily Bible verse. God was definitely speaking to me through today's response. Through trust in Him, He is here listening to me, He is here with me in this fight, and I loved the last part, with length of days He will bring Asher and I glory. It was like I heard him saying, " my child, I know it can be a challenge to lay in the bed day after day, as you sit and watch the sun rise and set, but know I am right with You in this fight. Through this time You are connecting with me and fighting for Asher, making him stronger each day. You will pull through because I am never going to leave you." It was a true God Moment because God reminded me that going through this was only a blessing, as I now have the time I wanted to grow closer to Him while giving me the needed time and rest to fight for Asher and help him develop strong. 

After reading this, I began reflecting on how blessed I am to have my husband James right beside me through it all. Throughout these long days, he sits and fights right beside me. Other than errands that are a must to make, he has been here with me through it all, taking on the challenge with me. Fighting for Asher means everything to him, and he will not leave the fight. It is our son, and we are in the fight together as prayer warriors for Asher. 

Some days life gets so busy, that we tend to sometimes not see all the little things our husbands or wives do to show their love. I reflect back to all he did for me during this pregnancy while at home from being the cook, going to the grocery store each weekend together so I wouldn't have to lift Easton in the cart with me being pregnant, keeping the landscaping and yard neat, changing oil in my car, helping me clean, etc. Sometimes we forget to just thank our spouses and tell them how much they mean to us. 

I feel God has also blessed me with this time to see how truly special I am to have James in my life as my husband. He has been beside me like a champ. I could just be sitting here alone and trying to pass time, but no he is in this with me as my rock and super hero. He sits beside me, he checks on me in the restroom constantly to be sure I am okay, he adjusts my pillows and bed at night to make me comfortable, he helps me with my shower when I can't get my IV wet, has learned to dry my long thick hair when I am finished, and helps me get dressed. I often joke with him that he only thought he'd have to deal with these types of things after my csection, but instead he is in it for the long haul." He laughs and says he hopes it is a long haul because he is in this fight with me and is my protector, cheerleader, and guide. He doesn't complain, instead he calms me down when anxiety enters my heart. He has decided to move in the room with me and sleep on furniture  that isn't always that comfortable because he wants to be the husband he promised God he would be to me on our wedding day. And for that I am blessed.

So, I want to just take a moment and say thank You God. Thank You for bringing us together that day our eyes met at a place that God led us to on the same night at the same time. Thank You for my friend Melissa who wasn't shy and got him over to meet me. Thank You for being there with me when we went our separate ways for a couple months, but through prayer not giving up on us and bringing us together as was in your plan. Thank You for choosing us to unite together in marriage and raise a beautiful family under your beautiful grace. You write the most beautiful stories, and knew he was perfect for me. I could never ask for a more loving, caring, supportive husband. This time is letting James and I grow even closer to one another and grow together in our faith in You. 

Again  we love all of you! We continue to feel your prayers surrounding us and pray you continue to fight for Asher with us. Your prayers are so powerful! We trust and know that God, Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints are with us for the long haul in Asher's fight according to God's amazing plan for Asher. How blessed I am to have you, my husband, family, friends. And most importantly God keeping me strong!