5/24/16

Wow. Where do I begin? I first just want to say the past two days have been a rollercoaster whirlwind. It has reminded me that we often forget how blessed we truly are and how we often think that nothing like this could ever happen to me. Then it happens...and you realize that things do happen. But I know everything happens for a reason and that God and Josh are right here with us. We can ask ourselves why and dwell on it, but instead we are putting all our trust in God because He is beautiful and does miraculous works ... Just as we have experienced in the last 2 days!

It started early Monday morning...waking up and just knowing something was wrong. Headed to Er and tested negative that water broke and instead had common infection.I left Er feeling a little reassured and so ended up working Monday.  During my lunch break I began feeling like something was just not right and the next thing I wetted my pants. Yes it was obvious Lol.. But thankfully God planned it just right that my amazing coworkers were with me and I wasn't teaching my students at that time. I knew it had to be more than just an infection.. I wondered if my water broke. Off I headed to Jasper to see my obgyn and he did a long ultrasound and some more tests and didn't see any water breakage signs and fluid looked good. So maybe he thought it was urine leakage..embarrassing I know..but left in wonder if that could be. Got home and within hour my water def had broke. So we rushed to Er at the amazing woman's hospital and within a few hours it was positive that  my water broke at 22weeks. 

We then were told that evening with contractions occuring and loss of a great amount of fluid.. That Asher would be delivered soon most likely alive and die in our arms. Tears ran down my face... How could this be?? I kept thinking... I already had 1miscarriage God... I also lost my brother... How could I experience death again? I then began thinking God has a reason for everything and he must have a special plan for Asher... After all Asher means happy and blessed. I accepted it and began praying and reminding myself Jesus suffered.. Mary had to witness his suffering... So I can handle this and God and Josh will pull us through. A long with these thoughts a few God moments hit me. On the way to Er .. Easton kept saying Jesus? Jesus? It was random in the car on the way as he had no idea where we were headed. Then with my due date being on my brothers birthday it also hit me that at 22 years my brother passed and Asher is 22 weeks. I then knew Josh would def. Take care of Asher. So I went to bed .. Tried to sleep.  And just waited for that hard moment. 

Then today our outlook and world changed as we met with our high risk doctor and neuropathy premie doctor. In the morning during ultrasound, our amazing high risk doctor came and told us that he was going to do everything to keep me and Asher safe. I just remember thinking.. What? I thought the nurse and doctor last night said that was impossible for Asher. He changed that thought completely as he said if I could make it 4 days to Saturday there was a chance to save Asher even though it may mean disabilities or a low chance. He was very informative and gave us hope. I knew at that very moment all your prayers were truly being heard and that truly God and Josh were fighting with us. So my goal is to make it to Saturday as then we can give steroids to help Ashers lungs and brain form. So our hope is to not go into labor before then and for me to avoid infection. All the nurses said that our doctor does wonders and have seen women just like me make it to 30 weeks. I was truly amazed.

Later that day as more questions came to mind, we were very fortunate to meet an amazing neuro premie doctor. Usually he waits for women to make it to the 23 week point for discussion, but no he was in our room in the evening for about an hour giving us all the time to let us know baby survival at each week. As each day Asher survives, his chances increase. He gave us a chart to see percentages and just really guided us. He is so down to earth and comical to make us smile at the same time. He reminds me of my favorite pediatrician ever Dr. Ruff... Who he knows Dr. Ruff and Dr. Hopf well. He again gave us hope and in a very honest way. His hope in Asher gave us hope even more. However, just as we know, we all agreed that no matter what it is in Gods hands as his plan is best, but no matter what he will join us and fight for Asher as much as God wills.

Wow... I just kept thinking. In 24 hours our world and outlook has truly changed! All I know is again it is God and Josh who are with all of us and they will pull us through according g to God's will. But like that reading said I read the night of little hope, nothing is impossible with God.... And that we truly know!!!

So I want to thank all of you for your powerful prayers as you too join us in the fight for Asher. Just ask for God's will is all I ask because all my trust lies in him! Please look at this daily as I will post on here instead of texting a million times. I will keep you posted daily as you journey with Asher and us. I love all of you!