A Day with Easton and Kind Neighbors

At lunch time, I was excited to see my mom and Easton enter my door. I hadn't seen Easton since Sunday, so seeing him melted my heart as always.

The toughest part was when he wanted Mamaw and was bashful to me.  Being a mom, you are so use to them only wanting you. So, when he was scared to get too close to me at first, my heart dropped. Eventually he warmed up and we drew together with markers. It just made my heart smile when he finally called me mommy again and told me he missed me. 

Once James got back from work, Easton was excited to see his daddy too. My mom watched Easton in the room while James helped me shower. When it was time for my mom to go back home, Easton walked out with James to help my mom unload a car seat and to say good bye. It was hard for Easton to leave his Mamaw. He wanted to go back home with her. So when he enteted the room, he was full of tears because he didn't understand he would be staying with us overnight tonight. I think that was a tough thing for James and I to both experience because it is hard to see him upset. Easton has been very strong through this all, but I know down in his little innocent heart he doesn't get the sutuation. So yes, that was a hard moment for me because all I want to do is love him, cuddle with him, and play trucks with him. 

However once the evening has went on, he is back to his goofy self.  Our neighbors came by and brought us O'Charleys, which very thoughtful of them. After eating hospital food for days, it was nice to eat something different. They sat and visited with us for a while and offered us any help. Having neighbors like that is a true blessing. So thank you Abbie and Wayne for going out of your way to make our night! God truly blessed us with amazing neighbors!

After they left, Easton went pee on the potty! He has kept his training pants dry, and is such a big boy! A few minutes later, he told daddy he had to go again, and he went #2! and came to tellme it was a big one lol! I am so proud of him. God has truly blessed us with this and having our parents really work with him on it! Then it was time for daddy to take him outside. It was so cute because he told daddy he had to wear his boots to take him. I then said that he had to give me a huge hug in order to go play outside. He ran over to my bed, arms opened  wide, and gave me the most heartwarming hug! I told him I loved him so much, and he said, " I love you too Mommy!". That was the highlight of my day.

Even though he may seem to be a little bashful toward me at first, I know he loves and misses me so much. I dream of the moment I get home with Asher and Easton at my sides. I just want to cuddle with them and show them what a mommy's love is all about. I want to be their biggest cheerleader and fan. 

Tonight I will smile as we a family will be together and have a sleepover together. I won't stop grinning because my buddy will be here with me and I can watch him fall to sleep near me. It's moments like these I cherish most... being with my family is the greatest blessing in the world, and Asher will be right with us too! 

Thank you all for your continued prayers in this fight for Asher! You are all amazing individuals to us who are truly making a difference in our lives. It's times like these that you realize how special of a gift friends and family and prayer warriors are! Let us continue in this fight together with God , Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints for Asher! God truly works in miraculous ways and my trust is out fully in Him. I know He is protecting Asher and helping him increase in strength each day! Dear God, you are our greatest blessing! I love You above all things! Amen .

Ultrasound Update and Trusting in God's Plan

So, I lie here with a contraction and heart monitor on my belly before my ultrasound to check fluid and Asher's progress. I feel a little more anxious today as James left this morning to go back to work. The blessing is he is only 20 minutes away, but it feels so different without him. He was like my supportive cushion. I felt everything would be just fine because he is tight beside me and near. However, I am not alone. God and Josh along with all the Angels and Saints and your prayers are right here with me. I opened up a Bible Quote book my sister gave me to listen  to God this morning and this quote was perfect... "Cast all your anxiety on Jesus because he cares for you". It reminded me again to stay strong and be free from worry because God is right here protecting Asher and I.

Just got back from ultrasound. The fluid pockets surrounding Asher are mainly up above him, as it is more common to have less below with it being more likely to leak. Asher is still breech, but he had a great heart rate of 144. The biggest fluid pocket she found was 1.2 cm, which has went down since last time, but that is just one pocket. Next week if God wills it, they will measure the complete amount of fluid around Asher. To us, any amount of fluid around him is a blessing! We got a cute profile pic of him today with his legs above his head, just like Easton was in me. The tech also gave me more hope by telling me that she had a woman come in early like me, with small fluid pockets. And make it to 34 weeks! Everyones story is different, but I know God is blessing Asher and us each day, and He knows the best plan!

To make the clock tick by a little faster, my plan today is begin writing my maid of honor speech for my sister's wedding. It is hard to believe that the wedding is a little over 5 weeks away already. I don't know if I will be there in person to give the speech, but my sister knows my speech will be delivered to her no matter what because I want her to know how much she means to me. I couldn't imagine life we without her, and I know it is a special moment that I may miss, but my speech will be said. So, I pray God delivers the words I want to say today and throughout this week!

This experience has made me realize that you can have all of these events planned, but sometimes God has a different plan for us, one that is better even though it is hard to comprehend at the time. My summer plan was to have a schedule for Easton where we would learn a letter in his name, a color, a number, and some sensory skills each week. We would make a fun snack together, go to the library, visit the zoo, play outside, watch movies, and just spend time together. I would work with him on potty training, which I can't thank our parents enough for taking on that task! During our down time, we would prepare Asher's nursery. I planned on getting my maid of honor dress altered in mid June and couldn't wait to receive Easton's ring bearer outfit on the porch. I was excited to walk in my sister's wedding and watch her happiest day come true. I also looked forward to sleeping in in the mornings while I had summer break, if Easton wouldn't wake me up first. Yes, I had a lot of plans, but they weren't on God's plans for me. I can sit here and wish they were, or accept that God has me on bed rest in this situation for a reason. I have chosen to accept it as God's will and know there was a special reason for this. This experience doesn't involve teaching my son the alphabet, numbers, or colors in a scheduled routine, but has taught me so much. It has given me more patience, time to be with God, time to share my stories and thoughts with you, time with my husbabd, family, and friends. It has taught me that life isn't always easy and doesn't always go as planned. You must take day by day and cherish each because it is God's plan that he directs us to if we listen. He knew Asher needed my rest to grow stronger, and Asher has a purpose in this world, so this is where he led me to be to make His will happen. I will look back on this experience and be so grateful. It may seem like a lot of time ahead of me, but when I look back on it, it will feel like nothing. It will just be a moment I remember as God giving James and I to get Asher strong and fight for him because he matters to us!

Thank you for your continued prayers! They warm my heart, and I can feel them around me. James and I wouldn't be as strong as we are without you, God, Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints. Let us continue to unite as prayer warriors for Asher in this fight, as God leads us to His beautiful grace for Asher. God, You are beautiful in all Your ways. There are times where Your plan seems hard to understand, but with faith we know that You always have a reason and know what is best. You are our greatest hero and friend. We lift up this fight for Asher to You as we trust in Your amazing path and will. We love You above all things. Amen.

The Gift of Great Friends

As James and I set in our room, I eating my lunch and him watching a movie, we heard a knock on the door. In walked in a remarkable faith filled friend of mine to visit. Jane and I met when I began teaching at Holy Family in Jasper. We taught together, usually right across the hall from one another. I know God placed her in my life for a very special reason  as she strengthened my faith, was my support when times got stressful, and was there to always pray for me. Because of her I made a Cursillo weekend and spent a day a week at the Adoration Chapel with Jesus praying. She was and still is a major inspiration in my life.

So when she walked in, I felt so blessed. She brought me a whole bunch of prayerful items to guide me in the fight for Asher from a special John Paul II shirt saying to keep hope to blessed oils and prayers to recite. She also brought me a miraculous picture of Jesus that I can't wait to have James hang on my wall. Her thoughtfulness means the world to us, and I am so grateful to have her as a guide in my prayer life and to have her pray for this fight. She even planned a Mass for Asher and us coming up in the next month. This is the AMAZING woman she is.

Jane had a grandchild born early as well that is close to Easton's age. She showed us video and photos of how her grandson spent days in the neku, but how he has blossomed into the miraculous boy he is today. Seeing those photos and videos gave us even more hope and reminded us that we aren't the only ones who gave went through this. God truly works through others! So, Jane thank you so much for surprising us with your visit today. Your faith and encouragement mean the world to us. How blessed we are to have you fighting with us and praying for us!

At the time Jane was about to leave, we had some more visitors. My best friend Alison along with her husband Matt and daughter Lisa came to visit us. It was uplifting to have them spend time with us and just chat like we normally would. Lisa carried the cutest smile on her face as she shared Cheezits with her mommy and daddy, drew on a number of sticky notes, and was being goofy by putting on her mom's sunglasses. Since our move to Evansville, we haven't got to visit them much as they live back where we were from. So, getting to spend time with them meant a lot to us. Thank you to them for taking time to spend with us and make the clock tick by a little quicker. We are so blessed to have you as great friends!

So I just want to thank God for these visitors today. It reminds us of how lucky we are to have all of you supporting and praying for us in this fight! God created friends and fighters like you for a purpose.... to have amazing people who will support one another even through the most difficult bumps in the road. Your strength in this fight keeps our faith and hope strong!

I hope all of you enjoyed your Memorial Day! What a beautiful day God created it to be! As you continue to fight with us, God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints, know how much it truly means to us! We wouldn't be as strong as we are without all of you! God will lead us to Asher's greatest plan and will keep us strong! He is Amazing and I thank him for being our Greatest friend!

Here With Me Always

Responsorial Psalm PS 91:1-2, 14-15B, 15C-16

R. (see 2b) In you, my God, I place my trust.
You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,
who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
Say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.
Because he clings to me, I will deliver him;
I will set him on high because he acknowledges my name.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; 
I will be with him in distress.
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.
I will deliver him and glorify him;
with length of days I will gratify him
and will show him my salvation.
R. In you, my God, I place my trust.

This daily response hit me when I woke up from a much better night sleep. I slept not feeling like I was in a sweltering desert or in a frigid igloo. I didn't have pain, and my arm was free from the machine. I thank God for a great night's rest. Anyways, when I wake up I look forward to grabbing my phone and reading the daily readings and daily Bible verse. God was definitely speaking to me through today's response. Through trust in Him, He is here listening to me, He is here with me in this fight, and I loved the last part, with length of days He will bring Asher and I glory. It was like I heard him saying, " my child, I know it can be a challenge to lay in the bed day after day, as you sit and watch the sun rise and set, but know I am right with You in this fight. Through this time You are connecting with me and fighting for Asher, making him stronger each day. You will pull through because I am never going to leave you." It was a true God Moment because God reminded me that going through this was only a blessing, as I now have the time I wanted to grow closer to Him while giving me the needed time and rest to fight for Asher and help him develop strong. 

After reading this, I began reflecting on how blessed I am to have my husband James right beside me through it all. Throughout these long days, he sits and fights right beside me. Other than errands that are a must to make, he has been here with me through it all, taking on the challenge with me. Fighting for Asher means everything to him, and he will not leave the fight. It is our son, and we are in the fight together as prayer warriors for Asher. 

Some days life gets so busy, that we tend to sometimes not see all the little things our husbands or wives do to show their love. I reflect back to all he did for me during this pregnancy while at home from being the cook, going to the grocery store each weekend together so I wouldn't have to lift Easton in the cart with me being pregnant, keeping the landscaping and yard neat, changing oil in my car, helping me clean, etc. Sometimes we forget to just thank our spouses and tell them how much they mean to us. 

I feel God has also blessed me with this time to see how truly special I am to have James in my life as my husband. He has been beside me like a champ. I could just be sitting here alone and trying to pass time, but no he is in this with me as my rock and super hero. He sits beside me, he checks on me in the restroom constantly to be sure I am okay, he adjusts my pillows and bed at night to make me comfortable, he helps me with my shower when I can't get my IV wet, has learned to dry my long thick hair when I am finished, and helps me get dressed. I often joke with him that he only thought he'd have to deal with these types of things after my csection, but instead he is in it for the long haul." He laughs and says he hopes it is a long haul because he is in this fight with me and is my protector, cheerleader, and guide. He doesn't complain, instead he calms me down when anxiety enters my heart. He has decided to move in the room with me and sleep on furniture  that isn't always that comfortable because he wants to be the husband he promised God he would be to me on our wedding day. And for that I am blessed.

So, I want to just take a moment and say thank You God. Thank You for bringing us together that day our eyes met at a place that God led us to on the same night at the same time. Thank You for my friend Melissa who wasn't shy and got him over to meet me. Thank You for being there with me when we went our separate ways for a couple months, but through prayer not giving up on us and bringing us together as was in your plan. Thank You for choosing us to unite together in marriage and raise a beautiful family under your beautiful grace. You write the most beautiful stories, and knew he was perfect for me. I could never ask for a more loving, caring, supportive husband. This time is letting James and I grow even closer to one another and grow together in our faith in You. 

Again  we love all of you! We continue to feel your prayers surrounding us and pray you continue to fight for Asher with us. Your prayers are so powerful! We trust and know that God, Josh, and all of the Angels and Saints are with us for the long haul in Asher's fight according to God's amazing plan for Asher. How blessed I am to have you, my husband, family, friends. And most importantly God keeping me strong!

A Day As A Family

Being today was a day I got to see Easton, I of course had to make a post about his visit along with another special visitor!

Right about lunch time, my eyes lit up when I saw Easton walking in my room. It has been a couple days since I saw him, which is very tough on me as I love and miss him so much! When he walked in with my mother and father in law, he was excited to show me a tractor that his Godfather Adam. James' brother, got for him yesterday. He also began to jabber about his excitement he had over the days spent with both grandparents. From getting a neat playdough kit from his Godmother Lacy to getting to see chickens, cows, and pigs at his grandparent Fettes'. But what really got me was when James lifted Easton to my face and Easton told me he missed me and gave me his sweet kisses. There is nothing like being a mom! 

James' parents had to run errands, so that meant family time together.. just James, Easton, and I which I enjoyed so much! While Easton was visiting, I got to watch him eat delicious pepperoni pizza and drinks a chocolate milk shake along with watching him stretch a yellow slinky, one from the goody crate yesterday, across the room with his daddy. He then got ahold of a soft mini ball that I had got from a goody bag a couple nights ago, and got a kick of throwing it across the hospital room as if he was a pitcher of a baseball game. It was so cute and made me laugh. Then he was ready for daddy to take him outside. So he grabbed a bubble wand, from the crate of treats yesterday, and he and daddy went outside to blow bubbles, but first they knocked on the window to smile and say hi to me, which melted my heart. 

After several minutes, they returned back into the room and Easton got the colored rainbow pens and drew pictures all over paper with daddy first, and then to me. I joked with James and told him that Easton knows I am the better drawer.. all joking of course! Easton then used the potty and went pee! We were so proud of him, especially since he had kept his pull up dry since last night! What a big boy he is! I can't be more blessed to have the parents we have, as it is them working hard to get Easton potty trained, as they know that was a great mission of mine this Summer! I hope they know how truly appreciated they are! 

Easton then wanted to watch dinosaurs, which he calls alligators lol, on TV. So we just relaxed. Then there was a knock on the door, and we were so happy to see Father Ed at the door. He had come to annoint Asher and I,and to give Communion to James and I. That truly meant the world to us and it brought us much peace. We sat together in prayer, Asher and I received the Annointing of the Sick for healing and protection, received Communion, and then ended in a blessing prayer. It made us feel very blessed as it is Sunday and we were unable to attend Mass. Easton also enjoyed showing Father Ed all his neat toys. So I want Father Ed to know that him going out of his way, truly made our day!

Finally, as you know how toddlers get restless as they are busy bodies, Easton wanted to go back outside to blow bubbles while he waited for his Grandma and Grandpa Fettes to come get him to drive to his other Grandma and Grandpa Beckman. Charlene the nurse happened to come in and overheard his wish, and then asked him if he would want to blow bubbles out in the hallway. This made his dimples appear as he smiled big. So until Grandma and Grandpa Fettes arrived, there he was blowing bubbles out in the hall and entertaining all of the nurses! Did I mention how amazing these nurses are?

Before we knew it, it was time for him to leave. That is always the hardest part for James and me. We so badly just want to pick him up, drive him home, and cuddle with him all night. However, we spend the days waiting for his next visit. 

We are just so grateful for our parents and all they do for us. They are in the fight with us and are making sure everything they can think of  is taken care of for us. We love you so much! I also want to take a moment to thank a couple friends in the area who are also going to take part in caring for Easton throughout the week as James plans to return to work this week. I want them to know they are true angels, and I will never be able to thank them enough! Easton is enjoying all these little trips to spend time with Grandma's, Grandpa's, and friends. He will have his very first sleepover Wednesday with one of his favorite buddies!

Time with my family today reminded me how important Sundays, the Lord's Day, are to be with your family and just spend time together. Often we get so wrapped up in our busy schedules, that we forget to take a moment each week to really just spend and cherish together in thanksgiving that God brought families togeallther for a reason.

We love all of you! I hope all of you have a great Memorial Day weekend, and we are so thankful of your continued prayers in Asher's fight. God will continue to lead us in this fight to the best path for Asher. God amazes me each day, and I am so grateful He is always by my side. I trust in You God and love You above all things! Your wotks are unending and beautiful! Amen.

A Difficult Night, But Worth So Much!

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. " Jeremiah 17:7-8.

Last night was a difficult night. I did well with my steroids pretty much all yesterday until night time struck. First it was uncomfortable to stay in the bed attached to an IV machine along with the sweaty leg squeezers on my feet, and contraction and heart monitor belts around my waist. Because  Asher is still tiny, they have to put other things around the heart monitor belt to put more pressure so we can hear it clearly to monitor. This was the first night I had to sleep with all of the connections. But that was nothing. In bed I would feel like I was baking in the desert heat, but when I got up to use the restroom, my whole body would shiver and shake like I was living inside an igloo at the South Pole. Then I would return to bed and half my body was still inside the igloo while the other half was baking in the desert. On top of that, pains down real low began to form. First it started on my left side then it looped around my back. I still hadn't got my uranalysis back from yesterday as they found some sugar in it, so we were unsure if it was due to all the belts looped around me, an infection, or gas pains as my belly felt full of them...not to gross anyone out! I just remember watching the clock tick and tick, and I just kept praying Lord I can do this. Jesus suffered for me far worse than any pain I could imagine, so even though I feel in pain, I can do this! Asher is worth it!!

 While feeling like this, my thoughts turned to all of the cancer patients, especially the young children. What I was experiencing was only for a few hours. They have weeks, months, and years of treatments that are worse than what I was experiencing. That thought let me know I would pull through and couldn't complain. After all, it was all worth it for Asher! 

Before I knew it, it was 7:30 am, and my favorite nurse Charlene returned! She could tell I looked flushed and rougher, but had the blessing of taking me off the steroids. Within an hr, I began to feel better. I eventually could turn off the fan that was there to cool my hot flashes, walk to the restroom without being connected to a pole and not feeling like I was on a ship in the wavy sea. I gained an appetite back and ate breakfast and lunch and even some delicious peanutbutter pie that Easton helped my mother-in-law make. My pain in my lower area began to get better as well. However, due to glucose found inthe urine, I began testing my blood sugar levels today, once before breakfast, then 2hrs after lunch and supper. Again, this is nothing! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. As I can't help but mention how James brings Charlene and myself laughter as he cringes at the sound of a prick of a finger lol!

So yes it might have been a rough night with discomfort, temperature changes, pain, and worry, but it was only so many hours. Sometimes we think our days are so dark and painful, which we definitely face them because those times are made to bring us closer to God. However, it is these times that let you reflect on how much worse life could be. God blesses us all in so many ways! 

Again, we can't say enough how much of a treasure all if you are to us! We feel your prayers and fight each day! We pray that you continue to join us in the fight for Asher as he gets stronger each day! We pray that God guides us to Asher's will, as it is the greatest, and we trust fully in His miraculous works! He is a caring, generous, and merciful God! How amazing it is to experience the unending feeling of all of us joining God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints as prayer warriors in this fight! We are so blessed!

You Are My Sunshine

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the Justice of your cause like the noonday sun." Psalm 37:5-6 ( a quote out of an inspirational Bible quote book from my family.... After opening it I turned to the themed section titled "anxiety" as you turn to the section that expresses how you feel at that very moment. This was the quote that stared right at me and fit with today just perfectly.. Another God Moment!)

You know with God you will always find sunlight even in the darkest places or on challenging roads in life. Well today I truly had sunshine enter my heart and hospital room in several ways.

Along with having the greatest nurse possible today during a tougher day, I will never forget when my nurse and my dad and I were in the room just chatting about great pediatricians in Evansville, there was a knock on the door. I was thinking it was my mom and sister arriving or James returning from his errands. Instead a lady from the hospital brought in a cart that had a crate filled with all kinds of yellow goodies and a painted plank sign saying "You are my sunshine." As she carried the heavy beautiful crate to my bed, so I could see all what was inside, my eyes were amazed at not only what all was inside of the crate from yellow colored candles, Smiley faces, bubbles, signs that said love and hope to a yellow magnetic chalkboard, headband, snacks galore, etc., but my eyes were also amazed at how thoughtful my students and their families were to create this neat and meaningful basket to bring me sunshine. They truly picked the perfect day to bring me sunshine too, as it was a more uncomfortable day. God truly works through people in amazing ways! Thank all of you for this gift of sunshine! I love you all so much and couldn't be blessed with a greater group of students and parents! Please know it truly meant the world to me!

So along with the sunshine brought to my room, my parents and sister came to be my cheerleaders for the day. I was so glad to see my sister! My parents were suppose to go to Indy to see her and so mom could help her with wedding items this weekend, but with the events of the week, Lacy came home instead. Her and mom spent the day working on wedding to dos yesterday, and then came to shower me with a couple gifts, cards, their love, and most importantly their company. Being the creative decorators they are, they brought sunshine to my room by decorating it with their gifts and the gifts from their students and their families. It truly made me feel at home! My sister had to go back to Indy, which was hard because I didn't know when we would see each other again. She is getting married July 9 in Bloomington, and I am her maid of honor. We aren't sure how God will plan that as we fight for Asher, but either way I will be there whether I am wheeling up the aisle in my  bridesmaid dress or sitting in my hospital bed in my gown watching it on Skype. What is most important is Asher as he needs us to fight with him. That my sister and I can totally agree!

Then of course my sunshine is God, Josh, all the Angels and Saints, and all of you! It is through all of you being right here with me in this fight for Asher, that keeps me strong. Your prayers and faith surround me each day and brighten my days just like the sunshine. So thank all of you for being my sunshine! I love you all so much and God above all things! His works are miraculous and His love unending. If it wasn't for his sunshine that takes away the rain, I wouldn't be the strong fighter I am! Thank you God for being my sunshine as You are with us always in this fight for Asher and guiding us to the best path for Asher. You are my God, and I am so grateful for that! Amen.

Cast Away Your Anxiety, Trust in Me

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
– Hebrews 10:35 (NIV)

Last night before going to bed, I noticed a leak of fluid. It made anxiety rise in my heart. The nurse said it was normal after a breakage, but my heart sank in worry. It's that feeling you get when you try everything to not be nervous, but no matter what your legs shake. It reminded me of the feeling I had the first night on the way to Saint Mary's when just the leakage began, and we at the time had no idea what it was. I remember being in the passenger seat and just saying "it is okay, God and Josh are here. Please relax.. Calm down....". Eventually, I calmed after James did his best to comfort me. I still had anxiety as it continued to leak randomly through the night. It usually would occur right after a visit to the restroom, so I didn't look forward to restroom visits through the night. I ended up going on to You Tube and listening to Christian relaxing music to just fall asleep and try to relax, as I did my best also to stay cool as my legs sweated with the leg squeezers on my legs since I don't get a whole lot of movement being in the bed all day. I also reminded myself I am okay, God and Josh are right here.

Before I knew it, it was 6 in the morning and the nurse was in preparing me for the IV, and I was still tense, but then I read the Bible readings of the day, and read the Bible verse of the day. I began this post with the Bible Verse of the day because it was a God Moment for me. When I read that, I knew at that moment, God knew exactly how I felt and was reassuring me, " relax my child, I am right with you. Stay confident in me. I will get you through this according to my loving will, all will be alright my child."

First I got to eat some breakfast uncertain how my body would take it as the nurses warned me that I could be nautious in the 24 hr period. I decided to eat some Honey Nut Cheerios and a banana nut muffin with milk. Then the time had arrived.... My day nurse had arrived, Charlene, which I have to say her and Donna are my favorite nurses! It was the first time I had Charlene, but from the moment she came in I knew God let her be my nurse for a reason. He knew I already had an anxious night and had a tough day of steroids ahead of me, so Charlene was His gift to me. She brings laughter, smiles, and a positive outlook on even the darker days. She even tried to help James learn how to put my hair into a pony tail lol, which he will never fully learn lol.

Since 7 am arrived, it was my time for my steroids to enter my body in the fight for Asher. I was so grateful that God had got us to this point, as it meant we were helping Asher in his fight and also arrived at a point that if he would arrive, his chances for survival increased from 2% to 30%.

As Charlene prepared my steroids shot, she and James joked around because James has a fear of needles, yet I took needles like a champ lol. Before I knew it, the shot in my hip was done, and it simply was a pinch. Next the steroid through my IV was beginning. This was the steroid that some women referred to as "flu in a bag" due to nausea, headaches, hot flashes, exhaustion, etc. it could cause. I got to say the insertion of it through my IV was worse than the shot on my hip. It burned at first for about 30 minutes, but Charlene knew a trick to make me comfy. She placed a warm cloth over my arm, and that did help a lot. I am telling you she is an angel!

At first I got very hot. I had a fan blowing straight in my face to cool me off. The next thing I knew, I was as cold as an IceCube and goosebumps covered my body. However, I was able to eat lunch just fine. So far, I hadn't felt nautious. Instead it was dealing with hot flashes, chills, exhaustion, and an occasional headache, plus the urge to use the restroom a lot. So, I feel pretty blessed to be feeling as well as I am. I managed to even eat dinner. So God and Josh def. are here with me.

Being in the bed all day and basically plugged on to an IV machine, I had some God Moments form in mind. First of all, being tied to a machine means having the nurse and James help guide me to the restroom. The steroids also can make you feel like you are walking across a boat on a wavy sea. So, I was greatful to have them there each time and continue to be until 7:30 tomorrow morning. But this made me think of my brother. I now knew what it felt like to be in Josh's shoes, yet just for a day whereas he dealt with it most of his life on Earth. At night, Josh would lie in bed and have to use the restroom or simply just turn over, but he couldn't on his own. He had to yell across the hall for mom and dad to come help him, which like the nurse and James, my mom and dad were always right there the moment he called because of the amazing parents they are. I too have to push a call button to the nurse each time I need to use the restroom, and I too have to ask someone, usually James, to adjust me in bed as I tend to keep sliding down. It made me realize how much of a Saint my brother truly was. Even though this was his common day to day occurrence, never once did I hear him complain. Instead he showed his gratitude to all those who helped him, and accepted his life as a blessing because God made him that way for a reason. I miss my brother dearly, but I know he is now happy and free in Heaven, and I can"t thank God enough that he chose me to be one of his sister's. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be the woman of faith I am today.

So, soon the steroids will end. I will have a shot in my hip and end the steroid IV at 7:30 or so tomorrow morning. It may be one of those nights where I can't get comfortable and wish I was sleeping out in a cool breeze, but I wouldn't change one thing for my fight for Asher.

I love and appreciate all of you! I am so grateful to have you join us on this fight with God, all the Angels, and Saints. Asher is one blessed baby surrounded by prayer! We continue to ask for you powerful prayers as we unite together in this fight for Asher and lift it up to God, as he knows the best will for Asher and is an Amazing God! Please also pray for my anxiety to vanish as their are always tough bumps in the road as I continue to leak randomly. My faith remains strong in God, and I thank God for the beautiful Bible Verse of the day that he shared with me. He indeed knew what I would be feeling today. Thank you God! I truly love You above all things!

You are God Moments to us

So I decided to post again tonight as not sure how much I will post tomorrow due to steroids for 24 hours that the nurse told me will most likely make me tired and maybe feel sick. However I look forward to them as going through them means making Asher stronger!

Anyways, I also wanted to post because I had some God Moments this afternoon. First the principal from my school Hallie visited me for a while. It was nice to sit and talk for a while and express our faith in Ashers fight. Also she brought me some special cards that my students had made me. After she left, I read aloud each one to James. Each one melted our hearts as each one was praying hard for Asher and us. One of my students even drew a picture of Asher that just was so cute and meaningful. I am planning on hanging them up in my room so it is an everyday reminder of their special prayers. I didn't get to give my students an official end of the year greeting, but I hope they know that they each mean so much to me and I enjoyed teaching them. They had God Moment Journals that they wrote in this year. It was something I started last year with my students as I wanted to teach young children about God Moments to inspire them in knowing God is all around them all the time. I hope they kno w if I wrote in my journal, their cards would be one of my God Moments. How precious it is to receive prayers from young children who truly take things to heart. They have prayed to God since my pregnancy for Asher, and how beautiful of a blessing it is to know they are fighting for Asher too!

A few moments later, the preschool teacher's daughter entered my room just as Hallie was leaving. It was the first time I have met her, but she is a nurse assistant in labor and delivery and decided to come by and let James and I know that her family was praying for us. It truly meant a lot for her to come and share that with us and meet her. It just is so beautiful to know that all these wonderful people are fighting hard for Asher! He truly has a lot of prayer warriors!

A few moments after that, Father Ed, the priest from Saint Wendel visited us. We felt really special today to have so many special visitors from Saint Wendel today. I got to say I work at a  wonderful place filled with amazing people who truly keep God at their center! Anyways, Father Ed visiting made us feel very blessed. He is an amazing priest and wonderful person who fully trusts in the will of God. We talked for a while and shared our faith together. Before he left, we prayed together for Asher and lifted our trust to God. For His will we trust as He knows the best path for Asher.

I thank God for all our friends, family, and others who we may not know as well but who are still praying and fighting for Asher! You are all God Moments to us because your prayers are so powerful, your fight for Asher unending, and your love shared everlasting. We are so blessed to have you join us in this fight through prayer and trust in God's beautiful will for Asher. He is an Amazing God and as He fights with us for Asher along with Josh and all of the Angels and Saints, we trust He will lead us to His will for Asher. We love Him above all things and love you all so much! Remember each and everyone of you is a God Moment to us!

Connecting with God

Today as James left for a while to finish mowing the yard, thankfully this time not in Raging Rapid style, take library books back, and run a few errands, I had my first alone time since coming here. I felt a little nervous when he left because he is my rock and I love him being close to me as we fight together with Asher. However, I had him put in the DVD Letters to God before he left. I knew this would calm me and let the time pass quicker. By the way, I can't forget to mention that my nurse Donna, who I have been blessed to have during her shifts, has been a warrior with us. After I told her of my love of Christian stories, especially true stories, she brought in a whole stack of Christian DVDs and a book she said I just have to read. Little did I know that she has a love for youth ministry and her and her husband have a dream to be missionaries, which is awesome! Also, it is a small world because she grew up on a farm right up the road from James' parents home! Anyways, watching that movie did calm my nerves. If you haven't seen it, you need to. It is a very inspirational story all about God's beautiful works.

After the movie ended, I ordered my lunch, ate, and then began to think about the blessings of being here at the Womans Hospital. You may wonder, you mean she sees blessings at being at a hospital? Well most importantly the nurses and doctors are in the fight for Asher and keeping us as healthy and safe as possible, which is a true blessing from God! I am so glad he led me here! But I began thinking of the life I was living right before this.

 I was very consumed in making sure the house was as spotless as possible, being sure I found the perfect bedding set for Asher and decor for the nursery I have planned for him, keeping all Easton's toys organized ( with Easton's help of course), being sure the laundry was not getting piled up and was folded neatly and put away, being sure I had things in my classroom as organized as possible for the maternity leave I had planned in September, and busy thinking how we needed this blue desk chair I really wanted, how I wished we could get new patio cushions to doll up our screened in porch, how I hoped we could finally get Easton's playground set ( as he would prefer to call it a tree house) so he had it to play on over summer, and how I hoped for a grill so James could make me cheeseburgers.... And etc. I sat here in my hospital bed and just thought about all my wants and thought I had to haves, and really realized how I feel blessed to be here in this room without that list of dos and dreams. Instead God gave me this time to stop, pause, and fight for Asher. He has made me realize that a playground, blue chair, patio cushions are all nice, but not important in this life. After all, you will always have wants, but life is about God and building that relationship with Him. It is about trying your best to work hard so you can have the necessities in life for yourself and your family. Life is not perfect, you will never have a house that stays clean 24/7. Laundry, dishes, toys on the floor, dust on the furniture, etc etc will always be there. Yes it is a must to do them, but sometimes I felt like I had to get to it right away to be that super mom and super wife. Being here I learned I don't. God has taught me to let go. What I need is God, spend time with my family, and to take care of myself along with my family. Often times us mom's tend to put everybody and everything before ourselves, but God reminded me that we have to take time to rest. After all, it's in those times of rest that we can sit and be fully with Him. With all my craziness, I felt like I was missing that time to be alone with God. I would spend my drives to school to be with him, but I wanted more. 

This time here is not only making me stronger and keeping Asher strong so he can fight, but it is giving me time with God. It is giving me time to see what really matters in life. I think often times we get so busy in our wants and have to dos, that we then lose that connection with what life is truly about. After all, if it wasn't for God, we wouldn't be here. He created each of us for a reason and wants that relationship with us to grow stronger each day. 

So, I just want to say thank you God. Thank you for being with us in this fight, keeping us strong, and leading us to your will for Asher. Thank you too for giving me this time to rest to keep Asher strong and to let me build my relationship back with you. Thank you for reminding me what life is truly all about! Thank you for being my best friend and for all your love. Thank you for all of my amazing friends, family, strangers who are surrounding us in prayer and fighting for Asher! You are a truly AMAZING God! All my trust lies in you! I truly love You above all things! Amen.

Update

We had the ultrasound this morning at 8:30. Going in there I was anxious, but I put my full trust in God because He and Josh were right there with me. Asher is still in breech position, but that didn't surprise me too much because of fluid. We felt God's amazing love and mercy when the woman told us that she measured a pocket of fluid and it was 1.9 cm. You may say that isn't much, but that is indeed a miracle to us! Tuesday we were at 1.4 cm, so the fluid increased by .5 cm, which is indeed a miraculous blessing from God! 

If God wills it, Asher will hit the 23 week mark tomorrow and steroids will begin to help him in his lung and brain development. Again, we will be making a decision on which path to take if Asher would enter the world at 23 weeks. Please hold us tight in prayer, as all of you have. We are putting the path fully in God's hands and know He will lead us to that decision. We are taking Asher's miraculous journey moment by moment. Our hope is to make it to 23 weeks, then we will look at our hope to be 24 weeks. Again, God knows best and we trust fully in His will for Asher. He and Josh along with all the Angels and Saints are fighting with us, and that is the greatest blessing! Also, we can't be more blessed as we have all of you, Asher's prayer warriors, surrounding us in prayer! 

I love you all! You joining us in this fight means the world! We are putting our trust fully in God, and we ask for you to pray for God's will because His is the best and most beautiful! 

Parts of Today's Readings That Are True God Moments

From First Reading:
Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you,
as if something strange were happening to you.
But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ,
so that when his glory is revealed
you may also rejoice exultantly.

From Second Reading:
Jesus said to them in reply, “Have faith in God.
Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain,
‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’
and does not doubt in his heart
but believes that what he says will happen,
it shall be done for him.
Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer,
believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.
When you stand to pray,
forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance,
so that your heavenly Father may in turn
forgive you your transgressions.”

Each day, I have been doing my best to read the daily readings. I always feel God talking to me through them. His love is so powerful. With an ultrasound today, this reading really touched my heart. Thank You God for all your love and comfort. You are an AMAZING God. Again we lift this up to You, and trust Your will. Again You know the best path for Asher, and we trust in You with our whole heart. Thank You for all your wonderful blessings and fighting with us and keeping us strong through this fight. We love You above all things! Amen.

Today's God Moments

First let me begin with saying I was blessed to have my mom come down last night to visit and then stay with Easton at our house. This morning she brought him up to visit me and let James go home and mow before the rain storm hit. Well I got to say at least he managed to get the front yard mowed before he got soaked as if he just sat on that one seat on Raging Rapids.. You know the one that comes back with the person the most soaked! So the back yard may be high, but atleast not so noticeable! So while that all occured, I got some time with my mom and Easton! The first three photos I love BC he wanted me to take selfies of his goofy self... The Easton that I love! You can be facing a scary situation, but with him around along with his endless smiles, laughter, energy, and excitement, you would be as happy as can be! James then came and spent some daddy son time together as mom and I spent time together. I am just glad I have that someone to spend time with each moment I am here. It makes all the difference in the world and makes me feel at home. So the time with my mom today was very special even if it meant her helping me go to the restroom, watch Jeopardy ( we tried to answer some.. But failed), and try to figure out crossword puzzles that were virtually impossible to solve! James accidentally found me the most difficult crossword book and bought it.  I guess he thinks I am a genius lol! But that time together meant so much! 

Before I knew it, Easton was back with James and surprised me with the beautiful balloon! He is my world! Then off to my moms.. Or should I say his manaws and papaws! He was excited, and he is really getting spoiled as he will get special time with my sister while there, then go to his other mamaw and papas tomorrow evening. Again our parents are true  blessings to us!

While James and Easton were gone, I also had another special God Moment. Jackie, who is a mom of a friend of ours, came and stopped by. She works here at the hospital 3 times a week, and stopped by. It truly meant so much as she wanted to let us know she was praying for us and Asher. As we talked she asked about my hobbies, and one thing I mentioned was word searches. She then said she knew where some were and came back with not just a word search book, but also a very special bag of goodies. I believe she told me that another mom who went through something similar to me made some goody bags and this was one. Now yes the goodies were neat and meaningful, but that wasn't the best part to me. It was the bag. I know you are thinking seriously the bag? If you look at the pic closely, you will see why. On the bag is a beautiful Bible quote.. "For I know the plans I have for you.." Jeremiah 29:11. It hit me... God made this happen for a reason! He knows we have a big decision ahead if us tomorrow in case Asher comes at the 23 week point, but He is saying do not worry. I will guide you, I know Asher's path and I am leading you there. So, I hope Jackie knows that her visiting was a God moment as it meant so much and God was truly working through her!! 

Again, I love all of you! I feel all your prayers! Keep fighting with us, Asher, God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints! We lift it up to God! He is our God Moment, He is our Hero! 

An Update and A Decision to Lift Up to God

Today I woke up and was waiting for Dr. Fitzpatrick, my high risk doc, to come in. I ate my breakfast, and James and I just waited while I read my book, Miracles from Heaven, which is an amazing book by the way, and James watched TV. Before we knew it, our Dr entered. As we are nearing Saturday, he came to not only check on me and how I was doing, but to discuss with us our next critical decision to make. 

If God wills Asher to make it until Saturday, he will be at 23 weeks, which means his chances of surviving are at 30%, plus odds are still high for risks. So, we have 3 choices if Asher would arrive at the 23 week point. First, remember that at the 23 week point he will receive steroids for lung and brain development which are crucial. But our choices stand here, again if he comes at the 23 week point. First, we can deliver him normally as he is small, and tell them to fight for him. However, the risks involved are high due to his last ultrasound showing him breech. So his head could get stuck which causes his chances to drop and more risks on me. 2nd we could again decide to fight and go a safer way by csection, which would increase his chances of surviving with him being breech, but again his survival rate is low and I would be going through a surgery. Lastly, we can deliver normally and decide no fighting, for example if head gets stuck, and let God take course and see if Asher can make it. So James and I have been discussing and got it down to either csection and battling, or normal delivery and letting God take course but not fighting if head gets stuck due to risks. We won't make our final decision, again this is only if Asher enters the world at the 23 week point, until tomorrow. 

The reason why our decision will be tomorrow is we received a blessing today knowing we will get another ultrasound tomorrow. This ultrasound is important because we get to see baby growth, baby position, and most importantly fluid levels. We will learn if more fluid was lost, if fluid stayed the same, or if I gained any back. Our hope is for it to stay stable or increase, which an increase would be our greatest prayer and hope. Again, we are giving it to God as he knows best. From there we can make a better decision based on Asher's situation. No matter what though I trust in God's beautiful plan and know He will guide us to it. 

So my greatest hope is for all of you to continue to pray and ask God to lead us to His loving will and guide us to the best decision. No matter what, I know again nothing is impossible with God, and I believe in his miraculous works! Also I know Josh and all the Angels and Saints are also right with God and us fighting for Asher.

I forgot to note, if he makes it to the 24 week point or longer, which would be definitely a beautiful gift from God, we will no matter what have a csection and fight for him as his chances  of survival increase above the 50% level. Again, our full trust is in God.

So again, love you all so much! Your faith, love, support, and unending prayers mean everything to us and our keeping us strong in this fight! May God bless all of you as you are our blessings! Let's continue to fight together for Asher according to God's will. 

A Day Spent with Easton and Super Heroes

Today I woke up feeling pretty well. My eyes lit up when the nurse finally told me I could take a shower and even dress in my very own clothes! That was a true gift as I hadn't took a shower since Sunday before all of this began. Believe me .. It was time to smell fresh again. Despite the quick shower I had to take with a wrapped IV, I was feeling so blessed. It again makes you realize how much we take a nice shower for granted. 

After my warm shower and refreshing change to my very own comfy clothes, yes another blessing, I began watching the clock for lunch time to come. Yes partly because I could eat again, but most importantly I got to see my amazing son Easton! I never really knew how hard it was to be a mom until now. Yes, I thought I figured that out when he was first born how tough it could be to meet a newborns needs.. Later I thought it was just to keep a tidy house and be sure he was safe at all times and got a bandage for each scraped knee. But now I learned that being a mom is truly being a superhero! It is being grateful to see my Easton, get a kiss from him, and staying happy and sharing laughter and smiles with him despite the mountain I am climbing and fighting. It is just being so joyful to see him despite not being able to get down on the floor and play trucks with him, tickle him, and watch him ride his truck up and down the street. You know it hit me... The days I got home from work and Easton wanting me to play and being so tired I tried my best to just let  let myself sit for just a bit, yet I just couldn't say no. Today all I wanted was to get down and play with him. Instead I am resting. Being a supermom  means fighting for Asher and doing all I can to stay strong through it and for Easton. Today I truly learned that being a mom is def a super power that God gives all mom's... And indeed the greatest superpower ever.. Because I love being a mom and wouldn't change that for the world! So after a day spent with Easton, I feel so blessed.  

Now I have a few more super heroes I want to mention. I have an amazing husband who hangs in there and fights with me... Who is my rock... Who goes to Barnes n Noble and gets me 2 books I can't wait to read that are all about the fight and the amazing power of God.. " Miracles from Heaven" and "Fractured Not Broken". What a blessing he is as he is indeed a super dad and super husband.

Next, to our parents. To come down to Evansville and being our rocks. What would we do without them? They are taking the greatest care of Easton and of course spoiling him with their love in every way. Also, I want to add my sister who I know is dealing with this in a strong faithful way even when she's several miles away. I couldn't ask for a better sister! They are all truly super heroes to me. 

Lastly, just as I was writing this post, a God Moment happened. The phone rang.. And I heard.... " Jenna B!" . I knew right away who it was... The greatest pediatrician I know.. Dr. Ruff! After losing my brother I went through some very difficult times. Fighting with gaining weight all my life and then facing the loss of a brother at age 15... The next thing I knew I was fighting myself with bronchitis and a very high fever in the pediatric unit. That was when I met this AMAZING doctor who knows all about fight!! He fought hard for me, and it didn't end with the exit of the hospital. He fought for me and was there for me throughout my high school college years. He always brought a brightness to my world even when I was facing difficult times or illnesses. He believed in me. I to this day call him my life saver as he was a part of making me the faithful woman I am today.  He was there at Easton's birth, he was there for Easton's first checkups. Honestly, one of the most difficult parts of moving to Evansville was leaving him.. Because I wanted Easton to experience his care just as I did. However, I was excited to know that he would be there for Ashers birth, as we planned it to be at Jasper. So anyways after telling Dr. Pyle.. Not sure if correct spelling, about Dr. Ruff last night, wouldn't you know he contacted Dr. Ruff. And then Dr. Ruff made my night extra special as he took his time to call me.. And once again he is fighting with me and my family for Asher. I couldn't feel more blessed. So talking of super heroes... He is one too. And I thank God he put him in my life! 

Again, I love you all and appreciate all your prayers. I feel them surrounding me and it is so powerful! Where there is prayer, God Is truly there! Again, we are putting our full trust in God. He knows best and is in this fight with us.. He will lead us to Asher's beautiful will. Josh is right beside us too and fighting just as hard! How especially blessed we truly are to have these 2 super heroes! We are nearing Saturday, so God will guide us, and all I know no matter what... Nothing is impossible with God. He will grant us His beautiful will in this fight. 

5/24/16

Wow. Where do I begin? I first just want to say the past two days have been a rollercoaster whirlwind. It has reminded me that we often forget how blessed we truly are and how we often think that nothing like this could ever happen to me. Then it happens...and you realize that things do happen. But I know everything happens for a reason and that God and Josh are right here with us. We can ask ourselves why and dwell on it, but instead we are putting all our trust in God because He is beautiful and does miraculous works ... Just as we have experienced in the last 2 days!

It started early Monday morning...waking up and just knowing something was wrong. Headed to Er and tested negative that water broke and instead had common infection.I left Er feeling a little reassured and so ended up working Monday.  During my lunch break I began feeling like something was just not right and the next thing I wetted my pants. Yes it was obvious Lol.. But thankfully God planned it just right that my amazing coworkers were with me and I wasn't teaching my students at that time. I knew it had to be more than just an infection.. I wondered if my water broke. Off I headed to Jasper to see my obgyn and he did a long ultrasound and some more tests and didn't see any water breakage signs and fluid looked good. So maybe he thought it was urine leakage..embarrassing I know..but left in wonder if that could be. Got home and within hour my water def had broke. So we rushed to Er at the amazing woman's hospital and within a few hours it was positive that  my water broke at 22weeks. 

We then were told that evening with contractions occuring and loss of a great amount of fluid.. That Asher would be delivered soon most likely alive and die in our arms. Tears ran down my face... How could this be?? I kept thinking... I already had 1miscarriage God... I also lost my brother... How could I experience death again? I then began thinking God has a reason for everything and he must have a special plan for Asher... After all Asher means happy and blessed. I accepted it and began praying and reminding myself Jesus suffered.. Mary had to witness his suffering... So I can handle this and God and Josh will pull us through. A long with these thoughts a few God moments hit me. On the way to Er .. Easton kept saying Jesus? Jesus? It was random in the car on the way as he had no idea where we were headed. Then with my due date being on my brothers birthday it also hit me that at 22 years my brother passed and Asher is 22 weeks. I then knew Josh would def. Take care of Asher. So I went to bed .. Tried to sleep.  And just waited for that hard moment. 

Then today our outlook and world changed as we met with our high risk doctor and neuropathy premie doctor. In the morning during ultrasound, our amazing high risk doctor came and told us that he was going to do everything to keep me and Asher safe. I just remember thinking.. What? I thought the nurse and doctor last night said that was impossible for Asher. He changed that thought completely as he said if I could make it 4 days to Saturday there was a chance to save Asher even though it may mean disabilities or a low chance. He was very informative and gave us hope. I knew at that very moment all your prayers were truly being heard and that truly God and Josh were fighting with us. So my goal is to make it to Saturday as then we can give steroids to help Ashers lungs and brain form. So our hope is to not go into labor before then and for me to avoid infection. All the nurses said that our doctor does wonders and have seen women just like me make it to 30 weeks. I was truly amazed.

Later that day as more questions came to mind, we were very fortunate to meet an amazing neuro premie doctor. Usually he waits for women to make it to the 23 week point for discussion, but no he was in our room in the evening for about an hour giving us all the time to let us know baby survival at each week. As each day Asher survives, his chances increase. He gave us a chart to see percentages and just really guided us. He is so down to earth and comical to make us smile at the same time. He reminds me of my favorite pediatrician ever Dr. Ruff... Who he knows Dr. Ruff and Dr. Hopf well. He again gave us hope and in a very honest way. His hope in Asher gave us hope even more. However, just as we know, we all agreed that no matter what it is in Gods hands as his plan is best, but no matter what he will join us and fight for Asher as much as God wills.

Wow... I just kept thinking. In 24 hours our world and outlook has truly changed! All I know is again it is God and Josh who are with all of us and they will pull us through according g to God's will. But like that reading said I read the night of little hope, nothing is impossible with God.... And that we truly know!!!

So I want to thank all of you for your powerful prayers as you too join us in the fight for Asher. Just ask for God's will is all I ask because all my trust lies in him! Please look at this daily as I will post on here instead of texting a million times. I will keep you posted daily as you journey with Asher and us. I love all of you!