It has been over 2 months since I cared for Easton on my own. I remember being on bed rest and looking forward to this moment again. I enjoy spending time with him so much, and I really missed him while I was in the hospital. So even though I am still in recovery mode, I am grateful for the strength God has blessed me with to care for him while James is at work.
These past few days taking care of him and being more independent have been tiring, but have really made me realize how strong my body truly is. I have managed to do laundry, with the help of my little guy getting clothes out of the dryer for me... mostly the ones in the far back that are harder for me to reach. I have managed to empty the top rack of the dishwasher, but need James to help me with the bottom. Easton has been doing a great job on his potty training. He likes to use the potty that sits on the floor better than the potty seat on the toilet. Honestly, I rather him use the potty seat on the toilet as it is better transition, but in a way it is a blessing that he is using the one on the floor as I don't have to lift him on the seat and he hands me the pot to empty and clean. With me not being allowed to lift more than 10 pounds, the other toilet method would be more difficult. I have also been able to handwash and dry dishes. It is just a beautiful feeling to get to slowly get back in routine of doing these household chores. It may sound funny, as I know we all wish for robots at times to do our weekly chores. But I am cherishing this week as I gain strength to do the chores again. It is sort of a stress reliever and makes me smile that I am able to be back at home again.
I wasn't sure how things would go with Easton as far as naps and listening during the day. With a toddler, sometimes it can be challenging to get them to listen. But what a blessing he has been. He knows Mommy is recovering still and needs help. He has been my little helper! He has cleaned up his toys pretty well after playing, told me when he has to go potty, and helped me with some daily chores. He has sat with me on the big table and ate his lunch. After lunch, he plays quietly as I clean up the kitchen and then pump. He then knows that it is time to watch a cartoon movie and take a nap. I wasn't sure if he would actually nap, but he has napped each time, and for a good 2 hours. I usually nap along that time for a good hour, and then the last hour or so do my hour of prayer and pumping. I again send my praises up to God for helping the transition go so well. I even had to laugh a little yesterday morning as I heard his little footsteps in the living room a little before 7, but he saw I was still in bed. So, a few minutes later I got up, and went to see where he was. I thought he was in the living room. But he was laying sweetly in his bed playing with a truck. It was so cute and sweet... he knew Mommy needed some rest yet, so he just laid in his bed and waited... another beautiful God Moment!
Monday early evening, we headed to the nicu to see our little miracle. With it only being us this week, James and I are taking turns each evening on who gets to hold our warrior for an hour. The other one of us watches Easton and keeps him occupied, and then gets to visit our miracle for a few minutes before we leave and the nicu closes for an hour for change of shifts.
When I arrived to see my miracle, the nurse was taking out his IV. Dr. Pyle had called me earlier that day and said he would be getting it out as he was off his antibiotics and fluids. He also told me that he would still receive medicine for fluid on his lungs as he was still in need of help to keep fluid off. It was an amazing blessing to see my miracle be free from his IV. Both of little hands were now able to move freely without an IV in the way. It made me reflect back to my hospital stay and the moment after he was born that I was finally able to be free from my IV too. It was a beautiful feeling. So I was so glad Asher got to experience that freedom too.
I held Asher Monday for a good hour. When the nurse placed him in my arms, he laid sweetly on my chest skin to skin. I loved feeling his breath against my skin along with the grasp of his tiny hands. His beautiful eyes looked up at me, and my heart melted. He then fell comfortably asleep in my arms skin to skin for a good hour... an hour that again flew by. I could have lied there with him all day. I again couldn't stop singing praises to God for another son/mommy bonding moment.... a moment where I was holding a miracle from God in my arms. When the hour was up, the nurse gently placed him back in his bed as I said my gnites and love yous. I then went to get James as it was nearing the time for the nicu to close for change of shifts. James went in for some son/daddy time to tell him how much he loves him and gnite.
As we were preparing to leave, I saw James wave to someone behind us. So, I looked around, and there was Dr. Fitzpatrick, my amazing high risk doctor who took care of me during my bed rest and delivered Asher. He walked over to us and shook our hands and held a big smile on his face as he was glad to see us. We were also so happy to see him. He asked how Asher was and mentioned how they all missed us in the high risk department. We again told him how grateful we were for him and all the nurses and doctors in the high risk department. They are all amazing people who truly went out of their way to help us and give us hope. We were so glad to see him. Easton gave him a high five and then we again told him thank you for everything. He made sure to let me know to call them anytime with questions and be sure we update them with pictures. We definitely will! We then headed back home to eat dinner and relax.
When we got home, we ate dinner and then spent some time outside. I pulled a patio chair out in the driveway and enjoyed the calming evening breeze. I watched Easton and James play outside. Easton rode his truck and jeep on the road and driveway. He then had daddy pull him in his wagon down the road. I just sat there and smiled in thanksgiving for a beautiful evening at home. Seeing Easton so happy to be at home and outside with his Mommy and Daddy made my evening so special. Yet, I was still missing something...how I long for the moment our little miracle joins us here at home too.. then it will truly be home sweet home. God will bless us with that moment at the perfect timing as He knows the best plan for Asher.... and what a special time will that moment be.
Tuesday afternoon, Easton and I were cuddled in the recliner look at his Thomas look and find book. As Easton was pointing out the items he was finding, my phone rang. My face lit up as it was Dr. Pyle giving me an update on our little warrior. He informed me that he was taking his 27 ccs of milk very well, so they would up it to 28 that evening. He also told me his oxygen was still good and they wouldn't adjust anything unless needed until Thursday after his blood gas test. He then told me that he got a summary on his heart ultrasound. It wasn't the full summary, but enough to let him know that Asher's vessels were closed, which was a beautiful blessing from God. He then mentioned how Asher's legs sort of twitch when he gets excited, which we have noticed. He just wanted to let us know not to worry as it isn't a seizure, but just part of being a preemie, but he would keep an eye on it. He just wanted to be sure we knew that if another doctor or nurse mentioned it, to not worry. So, thank you for your endless prayers which have blessed our miracle in so many ways and continues to. You are blessings to us!
Tuesday evening we journeyed to the nicu before dinner. It was daddy's turn to hold our miracle son. As James entered the nicu, Easton and I sat in the lobby. Easton snacked on animal crackers and juice, then he played with his trucks and toys he brought from home. As he was playing, Robyn, one of my favorite nurses who cared for me, walked by. It cracked me up at first as she didn't recognize me from a distance with my hair cut and contacts in, but she then saw Easton and walked right over to us. The last time I saw her was the day of my sister's wedding when I was blessed to have her along with Donna care for me. They were the two angels who were with us when I got wheeled outside for the first time in weeks to get a photo in my dress. It was so good seeing her as I never got to tell her thank you for caring for me as I hadn't seen her after Asher was born. She sat beside Easton and I and asked how Asher was doing. She then played toys with Easton for a while, which excited him as he remembered her as she was always one to talk with Easton and play toys with him while I was on bed rest. Before she left, she told us that Donna was working and at the nurse's station. I was excited to hear that as Donna was my other favorite nurse who I really got to know well during my bed rest stay. I thanked God for blessing us with the moment of getting to catch up with Robyn. She is truly an angel for always bringing me smiles during my hospital stay.
Easton and I then gathered his things and went on a short walk to the nurse's station to visit Donna. On our way there, I noticed the couple, whose baby is beside Asher in the nicu, standing in the hall. We have always said hi to them and let them know that we are praying for them and their baby too. They were in tears in the hallway, and it crushed my heart. I gave them space and didn't want to interrupt , but I longed to go up to them and give them a huge hug and tell them that whatever the situation, I am praying for them and God is right there with them and their precious miracle. Instead I continued to walk with Easton down the hall as I talked to God in prayer asking Him to be with them and bless them in their situation.
That is what is special about the nicu, meeting families who are traveling the journey with you, and how we support and pray for each other. It is a very special relationship we get to build. Even though we may only share a few words with each other, we still have a special silent bond that is formed by just sharing smiles with each other that aren't just any smiles... but smiles that say we are here for you too.... we will overcome this journey together as God keeps us strong. We just understand the journey and want the best for all the babies.... the miracles from God above. So each day I say a special prayer for the families and all the babies in the nicu, that God may bless all of them with strength and healing in His beautiful time. I pray that all families in there develop a stronger relationship with Him as He wraps His healing, loving arms around all the babies...all His miracles.
When Easton and I reached the nurse's station, we were so full of joy to see Donna. She stood and gave me a hug right away. We were both so glad to see each other. I updated her on Asher, and she was glad to hear how God was right with him keeping him strong. Easton was showing her all his toys of course. She said she missed having Easton running around. She then joked and said I could visit my room, but someone was in there. I said that is ok lol. I do have to say though, even though I cherish being back home, that room will always hold a very special place in my heart. It is where I was blessed to fight for my miracle, where I met amazing doctors and nurses who fought for Asher too, where I got to spend quality time with God in prayer, where I went in labor with my warrior, and where I recovered from my miracle's entry into the world. It is also where God blessed me through Skype to be part of my sister's wedding. So that room will always hold special meaning to me. I was so grateful that God blessed me with visiting Donna. She was one who brought me Christian movies and books to keep me occupied, and one I could spend hours talking to about faith in God. She is an amazing nurse and woman. I thank God for blessing her into my life, especially during a time when I needed her most.
Easton and I then headed back to the lobby to wait for James. Easton was so excited when he saw his daddy come out. He ran right into his daddy's arms. I then headed to the nicu to see my little miracle. As I visited him, the nurse told me they were increasing his feeds to 28 ccs, which is close to an ounce for each feeding. His oxygen level was at 24 which was a beautiful blessing from.God. She also said that he was staying awake more, but able to relax more and be happy. Before as he was adjusting to his new bed and new machine, he would get upset easily. So, it was good to hear and see him more relaxed and happy. I sat there in smiles as I watched him rest comfortably in his bed. I just wanted to hold him in my arms, but was happy to see him so calm. I told him my love yous and gnite. I then walked out of the nicu full of joy knowing that God along with Josh and all the Angels and Saints were right there with our miracle son.
Today Easton and I have been enjoying our time together. I love spending time with him! He went #2 on the potty twice, helped me do some chores, cuddled with me, and of course we played. I enjoyed sitting out in the screened in porch with him before lunch. He brought out his race car and played mechanic. He loves being just like his daddy, a handy man. He then grilled me some lunch on his pretend grill. I thank God for this special time with him and of course for blessing Easton with being such a big helper for his Mommy!
Tonight I look forward to cuddling with my miracle. The nurse informed me that he is still at 24 on his oxygen and doing well with his 28 ccs of feeding over a 90 minute period. I asked her about when he could be bottle fed, but she said it depended on when he was ready breathing wise. She said probably sometime around 34 weeks or a little after. We aren't in any hurry to rush that as God will let that time come when it is the right time. We are just blessed that he continues to prosper each day and stay strong while wrapped in God's amazing healing arms and your endless prayers!
Dear Loving God, Thank You for keeping us strong and never leaving our side. Thank You for keeping our miracle wrapped in Your loving, healing arms throughout this beautiful journey and blessing him with amazing strength. Thank You for giving me the strength to take care of my son independently during my recovery. It is such a blessing spending time with him. Thank You for blessing us with moments to catch up with amazing doctors and nurses. Thank You for blessing us with special bonding time with our little warrior. Thank Your for powerful prayer warriors whose prayers are amazing and do wonders! Our complete trust is in You as You continue to heal Asher and his lungs in Your beautiful timing as You have the perfect plan for him. May You continue to shine Your miraculous works through Asher for all to witness Your healing grace and grow closer to You. May You wrap Your loving arms around all the babies in nicus in need of Your healing grace and keep them strong, along with their amazing families. You are truly miraculous! We love You about all things! Amen.
All of you mean so much to us. We continue to feel your prayers surround us and know Asher feels them surround him too. Please know that your prayers are so powerful. I ask that you may add a prayer for all babies and families journeying through the nicu that God brings them healing and strength. Let us continue to unite hands in prayer with God, Josh, and all the Angels and Saints in this miraculous fight. Asher is comforted in your prayers and is the strong warrior he is because of God's loving mercy and your endless thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for the updates! It's so joyous to hear about the blessings from God! We are missing you at the back to school meetings!! 😘
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